Difficult Feelings

I really do care about people. I feel their pain when they are in pain. I feel their grief when they are grieving. I laugh when they laugh. I am very empathetic and sympathetic. I lend a good ear and I have a big shoulder for those needing a good cry. I often have advice that sometimes is taken and sometimes, is not. I love with my whole heart and if you are my true friend I will be a loyal friend. My family is my heart and soul. To hurt my family is to hurt me. If you hurt me I am not so quick to forgive. When my heart is bruised, it heals slowly. When it is broken, it may not heal at all. I respect everyone unless they disrespect me or my family.

I have lost trust and respect for someone I cared deeply for and it hurts. I wish I could get that back but I’m afraid that ship has sailed. It can never be the same. I do miss her because she was like a daughter to me.

I have been disrespected by another, in such a manner that I don’t think I could ever respect that person regardless of how hard I try. I must try however, for the sake of someone else who is very close to my heart. How can I even begin to care about someone who is so blatantly disrespectful? Is he really so arrogant (or stupid) that he thinks he deserves my respect now?

It is becoming increasingly difficult for me to ‘care’ about people these days especially when it seems like every time I feel, I get burned. When I was young I learned not to loan my belongings to others because I would get my belongings back damaged (or not at all). It’s the same with my heart, loyalty, respect and compassion. Why give it, if only to have it damaged?

Giving Thanks

This time of year, most people are planning their Thanksgiving dinners. Some folks head out to spend a few days with relatives. Some folks stay home and prepare the big meal for family and friends.  My family and I are staying home, wishing that my sisters and their families could be here. No matter where we’re going or who we’re with, we’re giving thanks for all we have and those we love. Of course, we shouldn’t wait until Thanksgiving to give thanks. We need to slow down and appreciate our lives, our loved ones and all the little things that we many times take for granted. What are you thankful for?

I’m thankful for…..

*My family, who have always been there for me.
*My father, who is my best friend.
*My children, and that they are safe and healthy.
*My grandchildren, who are beautiful, healthy and light up my life.
*My friends, who are always there to listen and give helpful advice or lend a shoulder for me to cry on.
*My health, although it isn’t the greatest at this moment. I’m alive and still able to take care of myself.
*The food on our table every single day. Some people aren’t that lucky.
*A roof over my head, even though it leaks a little.
*A bed to snuggle up in, to keep warm on these cold winter nights.
*The clothes I wear, although not very stylish or extravagant. I’m comfortable.
*My furbabies, who are every bit a part of my family as my children and grandchildren.
*The warmth of the sun on my face when I step outside.
*My ears that enable me to hear babies laughing, kittens purring and beautiful music.
*My eyes, to see my children and grandchildren, flowers blooming, kittens playing and the ability to drive my car!

There are so many things to be thankful for, although sometimes things aren’t always what I wish them to be. I’m so thankful to be alive and experiencing this life with the people closest to my heart.

Happy Thanksgiving All!
Be safe and thankful…..

Things That Give Me The Creeps!

After reading another blogger’s post of the things that give her the “heebie-jeebies” I was inspired to make a list of my own. There are many things that creep me out and some may be just plain silly to some but nonetheless, they still creep me out! Please feel free to comment but be nice because you wouldn’t want to hurt my feelings. Ha. Just kidding. Fire away.

(These are in no particular order; I type as they come to me.)
1. Spiders. Any kind, shape or size. Poisonous or non-poisonous. Hair or no hair. 8 legs or missing a leg or two. Doesn’t matter. They scare the crap out of me.
2. Chainsaws. I hate the sound of a chainsaw. I get the creeps at the mere mention of a chainsaw. In fact, in my house we refer to a chainsaw as a CS. I think this fear of the CS is due to that good ol’ original movie “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” I took my sister to see it in the theater when she was in the 5th grade, which made me about a sophomore in high school. To this day my sister LOVES horror movies. I, on the other hand, DO NOT.
3. Maggots. The dreaded “M” word. Yep, we call it the “M” word in my house. I hate them. They are disgusting and just the thought makes me want to hurl. This stems from seeing some awful things with the “M” word that I do not wish to write about.
4. A certain Rock Star by the name of Steven Tyler. When I was in the 5th grade I started buying my own records (yes, they were records back then) and I frequently shopped at a little store called The Music Box in my home town of Lodi, CA. I would flip through the records to see if there was anything of interest to me and the very first time I saw Steven Tyler’s face on an Aerosmith album cover I wanted to run out of the store screaming! Don’t know why. To this day he still gives me the creeps. I cannot look at him. If his face pops up on tv I look away as quickly as I can. I just can’t do it. I had a dream not too long ago, with Steven Tyler in it. I couldn’t even look at him in my dream. I kept covering my eyes! How weird is that? I don’t think I’ve taken a good look at the guy since I was in the 5th grade.
5. People with crossed eyes, a lazy eye – or crooked headlights as my dad calls them. It’s so difficult to tell if they’re looking at me! Holy smokes. Just creepy. (I mean no disrespect towards anyone who suffers from an eye problem.)
6. The sound of bones crushing or breaking, blood gushing, heads or other body parts coming off….. Back to the horror movies….. Geez, they need to leave a little to the imagination in my opinion. When I see the CS, I know that something is coming off and I don’t need to see it fly off to get the idea.
7. Dwarfs, midgets. They just give me the creeps for some reason. Nothing against the little people, really. I knew a father and son a long time ago; both little people and they were very nice.
8. The thought of being buried alive, trapped in a water-submersed vehicle or in a burning building with no escape. What a horrific way to die.
9. Bridges…swinging footbridges, high bridges over deep water, narrow bridges, bridges longer than 100 feet or so. I have a recurring nightmare, not too often anymore, about being on a long, high bridge that’s over deep, rising water. In the dream, I get halfway across the bridge and then I turn around and around again. Suddenly the water is all around me and I’m left standing on the one dry part of the bridge and I have nowhere to go. I’m sure the reason for this dream and my fear of bridges stems from me not being able to swim. This leads to my next item.
10. Deep water in which I cannot see or feel the bottom. I want to see what’s under there. I want to have my feet planted on the ground. You just never know what’s under there lurking….
To Be Continued….possibly.

How To Keep A Toddler Busy (Part 3)

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                                   Image Copyright Being Aunt Debbie

One of D.M.’s favorite things to do, making koolade. You’ll know this is what he wants to do when he takes his hand and simulates stirring and then points to his sippy cup. He loves to help!

Sick & Sorry

Lacking just the right words for a title for this entry. The closest I can come to it is Sick & Sorry. I’ve been sick for 4 days now. Running a low grade fever off and on, coughing, sneezing, slight headache. I’m constantly on the go. I’m always expected to be someone’s caregiver in some way or another. I try to do what I can to help my family and extended family. I try to be there for the people I care about, friends included. BUT it’s time for me to slow down and take some time to take care of me. Along with the severe arthritis pain in my lower extremities and spine, I have a head cold that doesn’t seem to be getting better. I’m trying to rest, drink lots of fluids and take care of me for a change. This just doesn’t seem to sit well with some people though. For some reason they feel they have been let down; disappointed in some way. Is it too much to ask for a few days to get well? I’m sorry I’m human. I get sick; not often but it does happen. After many harsh words being said, I’m left feeling like the bad guy, like I’m the one at fault…and for what? For not being able to do what someone else wants me to do. For being sick and trying to take it easy. Forgive me for being human. I’ll try not to let it happen again.