Farts!

Many years ago, my Dad received a birthday card from one of his siblings and I thought it was funny enough to write down the poem and save it. I found it a few days ago, since I’ve been going through clutter, and I thought I’d share. I hope you get a kick out of it. We thought it was hilarious, but then again all of my family has been blessed with an odd sense of humor. So, who knows if anyone else will think it’s funny!

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A fart can be quiet
A fart can be loud
Some leave a powerful
poisonous cloud

A fart can be short
A fart can be long
Some farts have been known
to sound just like a song

A fart can create
a most curious medley
A fart can be harmless
or silent but deadly

A fart might not smell
while others are vile
A fart may pass quickly
or linger a while

A fart can occur
in a number of places
and leave everyone
with strange looks
on their faces

From wide-open prairie
to small elevator
A fart will find all of us
sooner or later

But not all farts are bad
this is simply not true
We mustn’t forget
dear sweet old farts like you!

(Author Unknown)

PS  As I was about to hit ‘publish’ I heard Dad in the other room rip off a good one! Old farts are the best…

Breathe & Be

Just be you, my friend.

Be always true, to the end.

Have integrity. Walk your own path.

Hold your head high, walk with class.

Dance barefoot, sing a song.

The days become short, rather than long.

Breathe your troubles away.

They really don’t matter, at the end of the day.

Time will run out for us all,

So do what you can, make that call.

Live life to the fullest. Live with glee.

Just breathe. Just be.

Copyright Being Aunt Debbie

Tick Tock, Tick Tock

It has been a great number of years since I attempted to write a poem but I was inspired by the events of last night as I was trying to go to sleep. I’ve had insomnia for weeks. I don’t know why. I’m not particularly stressed. I wait until I am good and tired, normally around 1am, before I go to bed. I have tried 2 different herbal tea blends specifically for sleeping and over the counter sleep aids as well. When I have nights like this, every noise I hear seems to be amplified and it drives me insane!

Anyway, don’t be too critical of my ‘poem’ because I am definitely not a poet!! Thanks for reading, my friends!

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Tick Tock, Tick Tock

Tick tock, tick tock goes that blasted kitchen clock.

It ticks so loud, while I try to sleep

I can’t even hear myself counting sheep.

The windchimes chime outside my window

as I nudge snoring kitty with my elbow.

I hear the sound of digging and scratching,

the possums under the house, attacking.

There’s a hoot owl hooting just outside,

and I wish he’d just commit suicide.

I hear the sound of jingle bells,

cat toys tossed all over hell.

The refrigerator hums its obnoxious hum

and I wish I would pass out from the rum.

Seems there’s no sleep for me until after 4

then I will sleep ’til 7, and no more….

Then when I wake, what do I hear?

A stupid woodpecker, the first of the year!

He’s pecking and pecking

and my jaws are clenching.

I want to break his scrawny neck

but then I think, “ah what the heck.”

I may as well get out of bed and plan for the day.

Have some coffee and think, enjoy the sun’s rays.

I gather laundry to wash, dishes to clean,

brush my teeth, and put on my jeans.

Today’s a new day,

filled with love and laughter.

I will live for today, forever and after….

* Copyright 2018 Being Aunt Debbie * All rights reserved * Not to be copied or shared without prior written permission*