Tag Archives: pain

Stress, Worry, and Pain

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Where to start?! So much has happened in the last week, it’s just kind of a blur. I’ll start on July 4th, which seems like such a long time ago!

Last Friday, Dad and I headed out for a Walmart curbside order. We picked up our order, stopped for gas, and headed home. When we got home, Dad said he had to pee but that he wasn’t going to make it to the toilet so he stepped to the side of the yard and did his business. We live out in the boonies, so there’s no one around to see anything. While Dad was doing his thing, I was unloading the trunk and putting our groceries in the utility cart so we could lug it into the house. All of a sudden, I heard a yell, and when I looked up, Dad was on his hands and knees trying to get up.

He wasn’t injured, and he was coherent. He had just lost his balance and went down. He’s been doing this off and on for the last year or so but never outside. I rushed over to help but there’s nothing for him to hang onto in order for him to help me help him get up. Does that make sense? I tried and tried to get him up, but it just wasn’t working. I hobbled myself into the house to get the bathlift, which is like the lift they advertise on tv for the elderly when they fall. The only difference is that the bathlift is heavier. I tried to help him get his butt on the seat but he couldn’t sit up enough for it to work. He got so weak trying to get up that he just couldn’t anymore.

I called 9-1-1 at this point because I knew I wasn’t going to be able to do this without help. I told the dispatcher I needed help getting him off the ground and to please hurry because he’s in the sun! I was almost in a panic when Dad became unresponsive. There he was lying there IN THE SUN, and I was helpless. I grabbed our wet towels we had in the car (to help us stay cool because the a/c is on the fritz) and I wet them down more, and laid them across Dad’s head and back to help keep him cool. The ambulance was taking its sweet time! I called 9-1-1 again. The dispatcher asked for the address again. I told her AGAIN. I think I called 3 times and each time I told her that Dad was on the ground and IN THE SUN, and that I couldn’t get him up.

By this time, our neighbor, Mike, who is a volunteer firefighter, came to help. Two other helpful men came over, also volunteer firefighters, but honestly I have no clue who showed up first. We got more towels to drape over him and one guy had an umbrella he used to keep the direct sun off of Dad.

Finally, the ambulance came. One of the paramedics told me that the dispatcher gave them the wrong address, plus she never relayed the message that this was a heat related incident. I am so angry at that woman! They took Dad to the hospital. I was so hot and stressed out by then, I went inside and jumped in the shower, A COLD SHOWER, to be exact. I just sat there on the shower chair and cried as I cooled off. It was awful. I prayed that Dad would be ok. Then off to the hospital I went.

I had to talk to so many people, and I was dehydrated, so my mouth and throat became so dry I couldn’t talk unless someone brought me some water. They did, and it helped, but not very much. They took Dad to ICU and then they brought me to the ICU waiting room. At this point, I started texting people to let them know what had happened. It didn’t look great for Dad. He was still unresponsive and his temperature had been at 104 degrees when he came in. They were able to get his temp down to normal and he was on all kinds of IV drips and holy crap, it was awful seeing him like that! He was also on a ventilator. He suffered severe burns on his calves from the fabric of his pants touching his skin. IT WAS THAT HOT.

I don’t remember who came first. It could have been my son, since he lives closest but I can’t be sure. The grandkids (Dad’s great grandkids) started coming. I was so overwhelmed by everything, it’s just so blurry. The next day, my sisters and my brother in law came in from Tennessee. My daughter had just been here a couple of weeks before this happened. She had been worried that something would happen and that she’d not been able to see him. I’m glad she came when she did. Work interfered with her coming at this time because she just started as manager of a new Pizza Hut when she got home from her visit.

As the days have gone by, Dad has slowly showed improvement. He came off the vent with a throat sore he couldn’t talk. As the swelling came down, his speech improved. Still not at 100% so it’s a little hard to understand him. He had been on a diet of puree and thickened liquids until yesterday, when they changed it to a mechanical diet. That means he can eat things like meat but it looks like it’s been chewed up already. LOL. His burns are healing. They took him off the IV drips yesterday. They have had him up walking. It tires him out terribly but he’s doing better.

As I was leaving yesterday, they were getting a regular room ready for him. From here they want him to get some physical therapy to make him stronger so we found a place closer to home that takes his insurance. He will be moving there soon, but it’s only temporary, until he’s stronger and can come home. Please pray that he does well enough to come home.

In case you don’t know, I am disabled and can only walk with crutches. This proved to be very difficult for me to get across the hospital parking lot to the building. Every day. When my sisters were here, my youngest sister got a transport chair and pushed me around, making it easier on me. After they left though, I was on my own. I am not strong enough to get my wheelchair in the car otherwise I would have been able to wheel myself around. They have a guy that drives a cart around the parking lots, giving people rides but I had a difficult time getting on and off of that thing so I just walk. I’m in so much pain I just want to sit on my ass and not move at all. This morning my arms and shoulders are sore from using the crutches, I assume. I was going to go see Dad today, but I don’t think I can do that walk again.

I may have forgotten some details but I think you can understand all that happened. It’s been such a short time but it seems like it’s been weeks. I miss Dad not being home. It’s been difficult, mentally and physically. Tomorrow’s my birthday and Dad won’t be here. We don’t celebrate our birthdays really but it’s many, many years (30+) that he’s not been here on my birthday. It seems so strange.

I now need to figure out how I can get that new house finished so when Dad comes home it’s to a nice house instead of a dump. That’s the focus. My family might be coming back and I think they will help me get things figured out. Fingers crossed that all goes well. I will keep you all posted as best I can. Please pray for us!

Until next time,

PS I apologize for spelling and grammar errors. I’m lucky I can even see straight at this point.

This and That

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The house is coming along slowly. I wish it were going faster because I am missing or have missed some good sales on appliances, cabinets, and many other things. I can’t get anything until the drywall is up and the flooring is down. Then I can measure and decide what to get and actually have a place to put it. I have nowhere to store anything!! Ugh! I know. I’m trying to be patient. Really, I am.

Last night, I was working a jigsaw puzzle in the kitchen and listening to an audiobook when all of a sudden, there was a huge crash in the living room. All 3 cats shot out of the living room and went into hiding! Scared the living shit out of everyone. It was Dad. Poor thing fell down. He’s ok but it sure sounded like he landed hard. He took my fan down with him and spilled his meds all over the room. I had a hell of a time getting him off the floor. I told him if he would stop being stubborn and use his cane, he could avoid falling, at least cut the number of falls down. The next time he got up he was using his cane. Today, not so much. Still stubborn. I guess that’s where I get it.

I decided to take my chances and purchase a LegXercise machine. I know it won’t help my pain or mobility issues. Please don’t insist that it will, like so many people do, because I know more about my issues than anyone else. Anyway, I primarily bought the LegXercise machine to help the circulation in my legs. It’s not painful to use, but I am feeling a bit of added pain after using it for 2 days. I started at twice a day for 15 minutes each time. Today, I did it once for 15 minutes.

I’m going to try my hand this week sometime at making homemade enchilada sauce and salsa. I’ve made salsa before but it’s been a long, long time. The enchilada sauce will be a new experience. Thanks to a dear friend, I have a tried and true recipe to try! Wish me luck!

It appears that Old Man Winter isn’t finished with us just yet. Snow in the forecast this week will slow work on the house again. Thankfully, we have propane and we don’t have to go anywhere.

That’s it for today, friends. Be good, be safe, and try not to strangle your MAGA neighbors for they know not what they have done!

El Sucktomento…As My Dad Would Say.

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So far, this year has sucked royally.

We suffered through over 30 days with a clogged kitchen sink. We couldn’t do dishes, rinse canned beans, wash produce, or even rinse our hands! We had to do everything that required water in the bathroom. Trust me, washing dishes is never my favorite thing but washing them in the little bathroom sink sucks balls! So does rinsing beans and veggies over the tub! I tried several different products to try and unclog the drain, and wasted time trying to plunge the damn thing. Dad finally gave in and called a plumber since my son, apparently doesn’t have time for us, and after a whole 30 minutes, our sink was unclogged! It was an expensive 30 minutes because the guy got lost and he was on the clock the whole time he was trying to find us. It cost us a little over $300 bucks! Ugh.

All was good after the sink was unclogged and I thought things could go back to normal. But no. Things would not go back to normal. Last Tuesday, I got ready for bed (I sleep in my power lift chair) and when I tried to recline the chair, the hand control wouldn’t work. I thought the cats might have stepped on the power strip and turned it off, or knocked the plug to the power strip out of the wall. Those things have happened before. I checked and nothing looked suspicious. I made sure the plug was all the way in, making a good connection. I sat back down, and the hand control worked so I proceeded to recline and get comfy for the night.

At 3:00am my bladder woke me up and when I tried to raise the chair to a sitting position, the hand control wouldn’t work again. I thought, boy am I screwed! I tried again and the chair started to move but it moved in the opposite direction I wanted it to go and wouldn’t stop! I had to wake Dad up with my emergency call button. He put a footstool under the footrest of the chair to keep it steady while I scooted off the damn chair! I was so damn mad. I mean, I haven’t been able to sleep in my bed for years because it caused me too much pain and now my chair is dead. Where the hell am I going to sleep? Where the hell am I going to sit to relax? I can’t sit in Dad’s recliner because it rocks. I can’t sit in any of the other chairs in the house because they rock, too. I’m stuck with my wheelchair. It’s the only chair I can get in and out of now. Ugh. Can things get any worse?

I’ve been sleeping in my bed, uncomfortably and painfully. It’s making my leg and back problems worse. I’m not sleeping well at all. New chairs are too expensive. I tried to find a used chair. That wasn’t going well either. My poor chair. It’s been good to me for about 5 years now. It was used and only $200. I think it’s given me $200 worth of comfort! But…

Yesterday, I got to thinking maybe it was the transformer that went out because that’s happened before. Last year, I bought an extra transformer (a universal one) so I switched it out to see if my chair would work. Nope. So that wasn’t the problem. I didn’t think it was but it was worth a try. I wanted to try that though before I bought a new hand controller. I found a universal hand controller on Amazon and ordered it. It will be here Friday and hopefully, it will solve my problem so I can sleep in my chair again!

Stay tuned to find out if my chair will be brought back to life!

What’s Eating Aunt Debbie?

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The last 3 months have been awful. It all started just before Thanksgiving when I did a few chores to get ready for guests.

I’m not kidding myself about this crappy house. I know that no matter what I do, the house will still look like ass, as my sister would say. But there were a few things that needed to be done and if I don’t do it then who will? One of those things was the cat litter box that needed to be dumped, cleaned, disinfected, and refilled. I use clumping litter so it lasts a long time but I always push it because it kills me to clean it out.

So, I did the dirty deed of cat litter duty and proceeded to fuck up my lower back, resulting in a pinched nerve. The pain in my spine was minimal but my legs (mostly my left leg) began to fall asleep all the time, while I was standing or walking! If I was on my feet for too long, then it would start to burn like hell.

I went to see my NP, who is kind of on my shit list at the moment (more on that later), and she gave me a steroid injection. It helped tremendously but only for about 24 hours. She told me to come back for another injection, which helped but not as much as the first. I’ve been patiently waiting for the inflammation to go down. My NP said it may take some time and here I am still having issues with my left leg falling asleep. I will see her this week if I can get in. I’ve been putting it off.

My NP is a great person and she seems to know what she’s doing. She treats me like I’m human and not some reject from one of Rob Zombie’s horror flicks. She’s easy to talk to and seems to really care. My problem with her is that she lies on my records, or at least it appears that she lies. I’m not sure if the person transcribing my records has made the error or if my NP has truly lied. I went to the online patient portal to see my records from my last visit and I was truly shocked and pissed off at what I found. In my records she states, “patient declined weight loss medication,” “patient declined referral to dietitian/nutritionist,” “patient refused referral to orthopedist,” and “patient refused referral for pain management.” She also said when speaking of lymphedema therapy (as I had a few years ago), that I said “they can’t do anything more for me.” These things were all regarding my last visit and none are true! None of those things were ever offered and we never spoke of lymphedema at all since I had the therapy a few years ago. I mean, good grief!! Now I think I may have to find another provider but holy crap I have yet to see a doctor that I like and doesn’t 1) treat me like I’m stupid, 2) fat shame me, 3) act like he/she can’t be bothered with my questions, or 4) doesn’t do anything to help (probably because of my insurance). I’m up shit creek with no paddle to whack the hell out of anyone.

Other shit going on includes our kitchen sink drain being clogged. I have tried several different products and nothing works. We literally cannot use the kitchen sink because the drain won’t…DRAIN. Ugh. My son has other things going on and I guess we aren’t important enough for him to come help. Dad won’t call a fucking plumber and we can’t continue washing dishes in the bathroom because lugging the washtub full of dishes to the bathtub is a royal pain in the ass. Dad fell doing that and broke half the dishes we had just washed! We use paper plates when we can and that helps but this shit is getting old. Hell, it’s past old now. If I were able-bodied I would have gone out to the ditch with the auger and unplugged the damn drain myself a long time ago! Dad can’t do it any easier than I can because if he falls out there and can’t get up on his own, I can’t get out there to help him. He said he’s going to have to try, anyway.

Dad’s falls are becoming more frequent. He fell off the recumbent bike twice because he fell asleep while he was sitting on it. He wasn’t using it, just sitting. He hit the side of his eye on the handlebar and still has a black eye. That made 3 falls (including the dish-breaking incident) in just as many days. Two of those falls were in the same day.

We haven’t had hot water in the washing machine for over a month. The spigots got filled with debris (how the hell that happens, I don’t know) and my son replaced the cold water spigot but then the other wouldn’t work, so we had to get a replacement part for that. Dad said he could do that himself but he just got around to it yesterday. I now have hot water in the washing machine! Hot diggety damn! I haven’t washed kitchen towels, cleaning rags, or bath towels all this time because I needed the hot water. Good thing we have lots of towels and rags! Now I have a ton of washing to get caught up on. Ugh.

I’m trying to stay in good spirits…and the spirits in the alcohol cabinet are looking pretty good! Seriously though, it’s hard to stay positive, especially with my pain and mobility issues. The other problems would be easier to deal with without those issues. I’m told all the time how strong I am. I don’t feel very strong. In fact, I break down at least once a day. Still, I keep going. Who’s going to take care of Dad if I don’t? I thought that at this stage of my life, I’d have family around. Boy, was I wrong.

Trouble With Nerves

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It’s been a rough year but most especially the last 6 months. From personal drama to health issues…what’s coming in 2024? I don’t even want to know.

The last 2 months have been difficult beginning with the week before Thanksgiving. I did some chores (because who’s gonna do them if I don’t?) and I overdid it. It doesn’t take much for me to overdo things, but I normally snap back in a couple of days. This time, I didn’t. It started with what I thought was the arthritis taking over my pelvic bone. Then, my left leg kept falling asleep on me. Not while I was sitting, mind you. I can be standing or walking and all of a sudden my leg will fall asleep. If I am on my feet for too long (10 or 15 minutes is sometimes too long) my left leg will start to burn. Just BURN like hell. I also noticed my left leg was swelling up near my knee. I thought surely I had a pinched nerve. Finally, I sucked it up and went to the doctor. Ok, not a doctor but my Nurse Practitioner.

My NP spent nearly 2 hours with me trying to pinpoint the problem. I have never had any doctor spend that kind of time with me for any reason! I explained the problem I was having and she asked a lot of questions and poked and prodded my lower spine. and came to the conclusion that I have inflamed nerves in my lower spine where it meets the pelvic bone. She gave me a steroid injection which helped tremendously for about 24 hours and then some of the pain and discomfort came back. I received a second steroid injection a few days later. It helped a little but not as much as I had hoped.

She put me on a more mild diuretic than Lasix which I was taking as needed. I hated taking the Lasix because I spent too much time in the bathroom and I didn’t want to kill my kidneys. The new diuretic (hydrochlorothiazide or HCTZ) seems to be helping with the swelling. It’s not enough that I have to wear compression sleeves on my lower legs to prevent swelling, now I have to deal with this new area swelling up. Ugh.

I’m still having issues with the inflamed nerves but my NP said it may take some time. I’m trying to be patient. I haven’t experienced a lot of that burning sensation since the injections so I feel like it IS getting better. Weather permitting, I will go see my NP again next week. I was going to go this week but why do today when you can put off until tomorrow? Haha.

I really like my NP and her nurse is spectacular, too! I just hate going because I don’t want her to send me to some jerk doctor who won’t do anything but make me feel worse. They always seem to think they have to TELL me I’m overweight as if I don’t know. I want to say to them, “Hey asshole. I know I’m fat. I don’t need you to tell me that!” I wouldn’t be so much overweight if I had received proper medical care in the beginning. Then maybe I’d have been able to continue my daily exercise of walking (or some form of exercise like my recumbent bike) to keep my weight down. Maybe I’d have my knee replacements by now, too!

Ugh. Anyway, that’s what’s what in my neck of the woods. We’ll be getting snow soon. I don’t mind that as long as we have what we need and don’t need to leave the house. Another excuse not to go to the doctor. Haha.

Toodles, my friends!