Tag Archives: grandson

Bittersweet

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My daughter, S.R. and my grandson, D.M. have moved out. I wish them the best naturally but I will worry about them, no matter what….and I most definitely will miss them, A LOT!

It’s been strange here without them. I wake up in the morning to absolute quiet, a clean kitchen and no toys on the floor to stumble over. When I brush my teeth I can’t believe the space on my counter. One roll of toilet paper has lasted us 2 days instead of just one. My living room is again, a living room, instead of a play room. Things that I had to put out of D.M.’s reach are now easy to get to. No more searching for my remote controls! There are no more temper tantrums right in the middle of my tv shows! No more loud foot steps of a two year old’s running feet when I’m trying to take a nap. Dinner time is odd without them both sitting at the opposite side of the table. The laundry room isn’t constantly in use. I no longer have little feet on my heels as I go outside. It’s rather sad….

I’m enjoying the calmness; something my house hasn’t seen in a long time, but I miss my grandson something terrible. I miss his great big squishy hugs and the kisses he gives me and then wipes off. I miss his sign language (one of his own creation) and the facial expressions that follow. I miss tickling under his chin, and hearing that uncontrollable giggle. I don’t know why he’s so ticklish there! I will miss the completion of his potty training and his words for pee and poop – ‘ewee’ and ‘woop’. I will definitely miss watching him play when he doesn’t know he’s being watched. He’s quite amusing! I love him so much!

Of course, I’ll miss S.R. too. She’s my baby girl after all. My Friday the 13th baby, who to this day is still called ‘Jason’ by her grampa. She has made some bad choices and learned from them. She will continue to learn from her experiences and choices. She’s my oldest child, my only daughter. She is the most loyal person you could ever meet. She has a good heart and kind soul. I watched her grow into a beautiful young woman and I’m proud to say she’s my daughter.


I love you baby girl! 

Finding The Words…..

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This post is a long time coming. It’s been months since I was able to find the words to describe the feelings of hurt, dissapointment, fear, anger and frustration that I have been feeling.

S.R. made some bad choices and is paying the price. She has learned the hard way that making the absolute wrong choice will lead to not only personal consequence but also to more stress and more financial worries. I hope this is the beginning of the end of her problems and not the beginning of more. This I say because she has not realized what I had been hoping she would realize. She is still in love with J. and will stand by him no matter what. He will be in prison until next month and when he is released, S.R. will go with him and take my beautiful grandson with them.

For right now, S.R. and my grandson D.M. are staying with me. I am loving every second of it, even through the constant messes and disasters S.R. leaves everywhere she goes! Yes, it’s her who makes the messes, not the baby! D.M. is 7 months old now and he is the most beautiful child! He has the brightest, happiest smile and the bluest dark blue eyes! I feel the tears coming as I type because I know soon I won’t see him when I awake in the mornings. He won’t be there to brighten my day. I won’t be able to make him smile or giggle or kick his little Fred Flintsone feet in absolute joy! I won’t see many of his firsts…..

On the bright side, I have witnessed many of D.M.’s firsts! The first time he started walking in his walker, his first visit to a pet store, his first day at the park, his first jar of baby food are just a few. I bought him his first swimming pool which he loves sitting in on a hot day and splashing himself. His first sippy cup…..which he’s still trying to master!

I feel so blessed to have him in my life but why must he go away? It’s just life I guess. Children grow up and have children of their own. They move away. It happens every day. That doesn’t make it any easier. I will have my memories and I will pray that not too much time passes between visits.