Reliving A Nightmare

Last night, I dreamed of my mom who was killed in a car accident in August 1992. She had been drinking and popping prescription pain relievers. She was not wearing a seat belt and was thrown from the vehicle. In my dream, she was alive and I had the opportunity to stop her from not wearing her seat belt. Did she listen? No. She didn’t like anyone telling her what to do or what not to do. I woke up feeling that same pain and sadness as I did almost 19 years ago.

When my parents were still married, many times she called my Dad a “know-it-all.” She resented the fact that my father was a college graduate and she barely finished the 9th grade. Many times, I was also a “know-it-all.” There was aways a conflict brewing in our household. She always took the opposite stance on any subject, regardless.

I understand completely not liking being told what to do; I don’t like it either. But common sense steps in and takes over. Common sense tells me to wear a seat belt. I hope common sense tells my grown children to wear a seat belt. I raised them to be responsible, self-reliant human beings. I hope they understand that wearing a seat belt can not only save their lives but also ensure that their children have a mother/father in their lives.

Although my mother and I butted heads and were often at odds, I still wish she were here. If she had just worn that seat belt she would be enjoying her many grandchildren and her 2 beautiful great-grandchildren today. She was 50 years old the year she died and would now be nearing 70. It would be wonderful to have a mom to talk to about personal things or just to have a little girl talk. Of course, that would be in a perfect world because mom was so argumentative that our girl talk would have turned into a cat fight!

I still wish she were here…..


I’m feeling very sad tonight for a friend, who’s husband has lost his battle with Alzheimer’s Disease. Of course, no one will ever win a battle with this terrible disease – not in my lifetime anyway.

Alzheimer’s is the 6th leading cause of death in the U.S. 5.3 million people in this country have it. Alzheimer’s costs 172 billion dollars per year and 10.9 million caregivers are unpaid. Unpaid? Why? They are unpaid because they are caring for someone at home who is suffering from the disease.

It’s not just the Alzheimer’s victim who suffers. The family and friends suffer as well. It’s a most horrific disease. I’ve seen it’s devastating effects on people’s lives first hand. I hope to not have to experience this within my own family. It’s hard enough watching it rip friends’ lives into pieces. What can I do?

All I can do is help a friend mourn the loss of her husband and help her pick up the pieces.

I Hate Guns

My son wears a t-shirt that says “Guns Don’t Kill People. People With Mustaches Kill People.”

I think this statement is half right. The other half is just plain silly. But it makes me stop and think about how much I hate firearms.

Guns don’t kill people. People kill people.

Personally, I wish guns weren’t so easy for people to get their hands on. It’s far too easy to jump the gun, pardon the pun, and accidentally shoot your wife (sister, brother, daughter, son, or best friend) because you thought he/she was an intruder. There are so, so many people in this day and age with mental disorders and anger issues. You really have to be careful who you piss off! You could be facing some nut-case with a gun whom you accidentally bumped into at the grocery store. Or perhaps someone who was late for work got fired because you were driving too slow in front of them. Well, you get the picture.

I hate that people find it necessary to have guns in their homes, especially when there are children also in the home. I am afraid to look up statistics on how many young children have been injured or killed where a gun was in the home. Not to mention, teens and preteens who think it’s cool or funny to show off Dad’s gun to a friend, only to learn that it was loaded. I hear people say “as long as you have respect for the gun…..” That’s not even close to being true! It can happen, even if you have the utmost respect for your gun. Accidents can and do happen. Every day. Everyone wants to think “it won’t happen to me or my family” but it can. Let’s not forget about Columbine High School. Why was it so easy for 2 teenage boys to get their hands on firearms?

I hate guns. Period. I wish this world was a more peaceful place to live; where we all could get along without violence and without guns.