Tag Archives: dad

Into September…

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Here we are. It’s September already. The last 2 months have been a blur. From Dad’s fall, to family drama, to Dad’s recovery, to car repairs, water problems, to well, today.

Dad is doing much better. Having physical therapy helped him more than anything else, in my opinion. After the first PT visit, he started getting better faster! I think once he was shown that he could do more, he started doing more. The more he did, the better he felt, and the more independent he became. He’s walking to the bathroom with his cane, and we have ventured out a few times. My sister being here has helped tremendously, but when she leaves in 2 weeks, Dad and I will be on our own. I won’t have any help or support. God forbid if I ask for help! So, I will be doing things on my own.

My “other daughter” suggested a contractor to help get the new house done. I think I called him Guy #3 in a previous post. He got materials on Monday and started working on Tuesday. He spent 4 days working on getting the electrical outlets and switches installed and the breaker box all figured out. (Guy #1 didn’t label properly!) This coming week Guy #3 is going to install the ceiling fans and lights, and recessed lighting. When the electrical stuff is finished, he’s going to move on to hooking up toilets and a vanity, which I have yet to get. Oh, the decisions I will have to make! Anyway, “other daughter” has said that she really respects Guy #3’s work ethic and that he’s very fair. I need to get a hold of Guy #1 and ask him to bring over the HVAC units we have already paid for. I can’t wait to get attitude from him for asking and/or hiring someone else. You can imagine what I’ll tell him, I’m sure. My old Granny used to say, “Shit or get off the pot!”

I started this post this morning and stepped away for a bit. It’s 5:00pm, and I’m just now getting back to it. Here’s just a little indication of how quickly things can change. Read on…

After the lunch dishes were done and I was headed back to my chair, I noticed a never-used pop-up screen on the TV, and I told Dad to push “exit,” and I thought he had because the pop-up went away. But it popped up again. I got next to Dad’s chair and reached down for the remote in his hand, and he had a pretty good grip on it. When I looked at his face, something seemed off. His eyes were open but glassy, and he was leaning to the left. I thought he was just dozing, and maybe he was, but something told me to check more closely. I kept saying, “Dad. Dad. Dad.” He wasn’t responding. About that time, my sister jumped up to help. We fussed with him for what must’ve been at least 15 minutes, trying to wake him up. He finally started to respond, but his speech was slurred. We were frantically rubbing his chest, patting his cheeks, moving his arms around, etc., anything to get him to snap out of it. He finally did, but boy, did it scare the crap out of my sister and me! He did that to me once several months ago, but it didn’t take that long to wake him. I swear, my sister and I thought we were losing him. Dad is fine now, but that’s how quickly things can change.

I think part of the problem is that he’s not sleeping well. The hospital bed is not comfortable. He bitches about it all the time. Last weekend, I asked my son to come get it this weekend, but he has yet to show up. My sister leaves in 2 weeks, and I will need her to help me get his room set up so he can sleep in there in a real bed!

I will say goodbye for now until next time,

This and That / Updates

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I am happy to say that my Dad is getting stronger by the day! He’s being brave, getting up and walking on his own with his cane, but without my sister or me to help him. He doesn’t venture far, just to the bedside commode or bathroom and back. His burns are healing nicely. Bandaging is at a minimum now. His feet are still swollen. Lack of movement is likely the cause. He needs to be up and down more. He’s restless. He’s bored as heck. He’s still watching the news nearly 24/7 as he did before. I am ready to pull my hair out! By the end of the month, we hope to have him back in a real bed, not a hospital bed. He says, “That thing is uncomfortable as hell.” Needless to say, he’s not getting a lot of sleep…unless of course he’s in his chair!

No drama for the last few weeks, thank goodness. I have enough stress and anxiety to deal with, and Dad sure doesn’t need it.

Our car is still in the shop. I took it in last Thursday for a/c repair. They said the evaporator needed to be replaced, which means the whole dash has to come out. I was told it’s an 8-hour job, but here it is a week later. When I called the other morning, I was told that the guy who was working on it had a family emergency and had been out. They are bringing in another guy to take over. I was hoping to have our car back because I’m used to driving it. This Eco Sport loaner is rather cool to drive, but it’s a bit too high off the ground for me and the driver’s side floor space is lacking…in space. The accelerator and brake pedals are very close together, and there’s not much space for movement. On the bright side, it’s the perfect height for Dad and his long legs!

We had an appointment yesterday with a nephrologist (kidney specialist) and it was the worst experience we’ve ever had with a doctor! The story deserves a post of it’s own so be on the lookout for that!

Last week, I had a guy (we’ll call him Guy #2) come out and look at the new house. We need to get the damn thing finished asap! Guy #1 has excuses, like how sick he’s been, but he’s still working other jobs. What the hell, right? That doesn’t piss me off as much as the non-communication. Months with not as much as a text. He finished painting the interior and then went MIA. I finally had to tell him literally, “It would take less than a minute for you to text me and let me know what is going on.” Then he got pissy with me. Ok, fine. Guy #2 comes out and looks at the house and says he can do it, but he’d have to hire a lot of it out (like the septic system and circuit breaker box), so it would cost us more. Then I found Guy #3, who came and said he could do it. He is going to get me some estimates on the individual things that need to be done. He also said that things would be slowing down for him and could probably start working on it soon. We’ll see. I haven’t received any estimates yet. I don’t put much faith in what people say these days.

My sister is still here, and I don’t know what I will do without her. I mean, Dad is stronger now and tired of us hovering, but he still needs help. Let’s face it, I’m walking with crutches, so my “help” is limited. My sister has done most of the work around here. She will be leaving Dad and me on our own in mid-September. I’m going to miss her, but I know she has a job and furbabies to go back to. On the bright side, though, when the new house is livable, she and her furbabies are coming to stay.

Stay tuned for the next post!

Stress, Worry, and Pain

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Where to start?! So much has happened in the last week, it’s just kind of a blur. I’ll start on July 4th, which seems like such a long time ago!

Last Friday, Dad and I headed out for a Walmart curbside order. We picked up our order, stopped for gas, and headed home. When we got home, Dad said he had to pee but that he wasn’t going to make it to the toilet so he stepped to the side of the yard and did his business. We live out in the boonies, so there’s no one around to see anything. While Dad was doing his thing, I was unloading the trunk and putting our groceries in the utility cart so we could lug it into the house. All of a sudden, I heard a yell, and when I looked up, Dad was on his hands and knees trying to get up.

He wasn’t injured, and he was coherent. He had just lost his balance and went down. He’s been doing this off and on for the last year or so but never outside. I rushed over to help but there’s nothing for him to hang onto in order for him to help me help him get up. Does that make sense? I tried and tried to get him up, but it just wasn’t working. I hobbled myself into the house to get the bathlift, which is like the lift they advertise on tv for the elderly when they fall. The only difference is that the bathlift is heavier. I tried to help him get his butt on the seat but he couldn’t sit up enough for it to work. He got so weak trying to get up that he just couldn’t anymore.

I called 9-1-1 at this point because I knew I wasn’t going to be able to do this without help. I told the dispatcher I needed help getting him off the ground and to please hurry because he’s in the sun! I was almost in a panic when Dad became unresponsive. There he was lying there IN THE SUN, and I was helpless. I grabbed our wet towels we had in the car (to help us stay cool because the a/c is on the fritz) and I wet them down more, and laid them across Dad’s head and back to help keep him cool. The ambulance was taking its sweet time! I called 9-1-1 again. The dispatcher asked for the address again. I told her AGAIN. I think I called 3 times and each time I told her that Dad was on the ground and IN THE SUN, and that I couldn’t get him up.

By this time, our neighbor, Mike, who is a volunteer firefighter, came to help. Two other helpful men came over, also volunteer firefighters, but honestly I have no clue who showed up first. We got more towels to drape over him and one guy had an umbrella he used to keep the direct sun off of Dad.

Finally, the ambulance came. One of the paramedics told me that the dispatcher gave them the wrong address, plus she never relayed the message that this was a heat related incident. I am so angry at that woman! They took Dad to the hospital. I was so hot and stressed out by then, I went inside and jumped in the shower, A COLD SHOWER, to be exact. I just sat there on the shower chair and cried as I cooled off. It was awful. I prayed that Dad would be ok. Then off to the hospital I went.

I had to talk to so many people, and I was dehydrated, so my mouth and throat became so dry I couldn’t talk unless someone brought me some water. They did, and it helped, but not very much. They took Dad to ICU and then they brought me to the ICU waiting room. At this point, I started texting people to let them know what had happened. It didn’t look great for Dad. He was still unresponsive and his temperature had been at 104 degrees when he came in. They were able to get his temp down to normal and he was on all kinds of IV drips and holy crap, it was awful seeing him like that! He was also on a ventilator. He suffered severe burns on his calves from the fabric of his pants touching his skin. IT WAS THAT HOT.

I don’t remember who came first. It could have been my son, since he lives closest but I can’t be sure. The grandkids (Dad’s great grandkids) started coming. I was so overwhelmed by everything, it’s just so blurry. The next day, my sisters and my brother in law came in from Tennessee. My daughter had just been here a couple of weeks before this happened. She had been worried that something would happen and that she’d not been able to see him. I’m glad she came when she did. Work interfered with her coming at this time because she just started as manager of a new Pizza Hut when she got home from her visit.

As the days have gone by, Dad has slowly showed improvement. He came off the vent with a throat sore he couldn’t talk. As the swelling came down, his speech improved. Still not at 100% so it’s a little hard to understand him. He had been on a diet of puree and thickened liquids until yesterday, when they changed it to a mechanical diet. That means he can eat things like meat but it looks like it’s been chewed up already. LOL. His burns are healing. They took him off the IV drips yesterday. They have had him up walking. It tires him out terribly but he’s doing better.

As I was leaving yesterday, they were getting a regular room ready for him. From here they want him to get some physical therapy to make him stronger so we found a place closer to home that takes his insurance. He will be moving there soon, but it’s only temporary, until he’s stronger and can come home. Please pray that he does well enough to come home.

In case you don’t know, I am disabled and can only walk with crutches. This proved to be very difficult for me to get across the hospital parking lot to the building. Every day. When my sisters were here, my youngest sister got a transport chair and pushed me around, making it easier on me. After they left though, I was on my own. I am not strong enough to get my wheelchair in the car otherwise I would have been able to wheel myself around. They have a guy that drives a cart around the parking lots, giving people rides but I had a difficult time getting on and off of that thing so I just walk. I’m in so much pain I just want to sit on my ass and not move at all. This morning my arms and shoulders are sore from using the crutches, I assume. I was going to go see Dad today, but I don’t think I can do that walk again.

I may have forgotten some details but I think you can understand all that happened. It’s been such a short time but it seems like it’s been weeks. I miss Dad not being home. It’s been difficult, mentally and physically. Tomorrow’s my birthday and Dad won’t be here. We don’t celebrate our birthdays really but it’s many, many years (30+) that he’s not been here on my birthday. It seems so strange.

I now need to figure out how I can get that new house finished so when Dad comes home it’s to a nice house instead of a dump. That’s the focus. My family might be coming back and I think they will help me get things figured out. Fingers crossed that all goes well. I will keep you all posted as best I can. Please pray for us!

Until next time,

PS I apologize for spelling and grammar errors. I’m lucky I can even see straight at this point.

New House Update

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Well, folks… The interior of the new house has been painted and it looks great! I forgot to take photos the last time I was out there because my daughter and her crew came for an unexpected visit. I took them out to see the house because they hadn’t seen it in such “nearly finished” condition.

It’s time to pick out flooring and we decided a while back that we were going to use vinyl plank flooring. We also decided on a “wood look” but not too dark and not too light. Well… That shit is expensive! Anywhere from $4000 to $6000 for the flooring and not counting labor. Holy crap. Dad wants to go to Lowe’s to look at the flooring in person because it’s hard to choose online. Going to Lowe’s would be fine except for the fact that the a/c in our car doesn’t work and it’s an hour drive from our house! When we go out, even if it’s just a curbside order at Walmart, Dad gets overly tired and over heated so he ends up falling at some point after we get home.

A couple of weeks ago, Dad fell 3 times in one day! He fell last night while getting ready for bed. One of these times, he’s going to get hurt. I worry about him so much. I desperately need the house finished and my sister here to help me. I’m trying to be patient.

Nothing else new here; My furbabies are fine and still pains in my you-know-what, I’m still amongst the living, and I’m…still…crazy. Hahaha!

Old Man Sounds

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Good grief. I can’t seem to get away from old man sounds. Everywhere I go in this house is filled with sounds coming out of Dad. You’ll laugh, I’m sure, but this is no laughing matter. 

The only peace I get is after Dad goes to bed at night. I get from 10pm to about 1am of peace and quiet, time just for me. This is my time to relax, not just my body but my brain. I guess it’s peaceful when I’m sleeping, aside from the furbabies playing and raising cane some nights. If I wake up around 5am or 6am to use the bathroom, I put in my ear plugs so I don’t hear when Dad gets up around 7am. I know what you might be thinking. What if Dad falls? Trust me. If he falls, I will feel it. I don’t mean intuitively. I mean I will actually feel the vibration in the floor if he falls. I feel the boom and I’m awake to check on him. It’s happened before. 

Just a reminder: I sleep in my lift chair because I cannot sleep in my bed. It’s a pain and discomfort thing. So, I’m stuck sleeping in the living room. If I don’t wake up during the night to use the bathroom, I get woken up when Dad gets up at 7am. All he does is make noise. He sits in his chair, not 5 feet away, and sniffs and coughs, sneezes and farts. He clears his throat. He blows his nose. This is all continuous, mind you. When he farts, I’m talking thunderous farts! I’m tempted to set my alarm to wake up at 6am to use the bathroom even if I don’t need to, just so I can put in my ear plugs! 

I have asked Dad not to let me sleep past 9am. That gives me my 8 hours, if I’m lucky. I can’t wait for the day when our new house is move-in ready, just so I can sleep in my bedroom! The way it is right now, it’s like having someone sitting in my bedroom who doesn’t belong there. I plan on getting an adjustable bed as soon as I can, but I can have the movers put my chair in my new bedroom, if nothing else. When we move, my sister will be here to help me look after Dad, and help with the cooking and cleaning, because God knows I can’t. I manage to fix us something to eat but that’s about all I can do. Getting off track, sorry. You want to hear more about the noises…

The other morning, I kept hearing a crunching sound. I thought Jack had caught a mouse and was feasting on it. It wasn’t Jack. It was Dad, crunching on ginger snaps. You know, those crunchy ones from the Dollar Tree.

Just now, as I write this, Dad farted standing in front of the heater. That’s all he does, all day long. This house smells like farts. I know. Laugh it up! He just farts and farts and farts. I am so tired of the smell. I try to stay in the kitchen as much as possible. I work puzzles, do diamond paintings, journaling…that type of thing. But the living room leads to the kitchen, which leads to the bathroom, so every time Dad heads to the bathroom…he farts…and he usually farts as he walks by me! So I have to smell it until it dissipates. Sometimes, his farts are so loud, I can’t even hear my audiobook so I have to rewind. Holy cow. It drives me insane! I know he’s old and every one farts, but geez Louise. Have a little class, right? Just because we’re related and live in the same house doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be somewhat polite. 

I guess I’m done complaining. I do appreciate my Dad and I enjoy his company. It’s just that things have gotten worse in the last couple months and his noises annoy the heck out of me! This is causing me great stress, if you can believe that. I just grin and bear it, aside from letting Dad know how bad his farts smell!!