Category Archives: Miscellany

Yeah, I’m Still Single. What’s It To You?

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A rather annoying conversation began today when I ran into someone I haven’t seen since somewhere around 2002. I despise running into people I know when I’m trying to shop, always have. I mean, I’m trying to get my shopping done. I don’t have all day. Of course, now it’s because I have a chronic illness and I have to get done quickly so I can get home to rest, but a decade ago I just had other things to do than stand there and chit-chat in a store where my conversation isn’t private.

After the normal conversation starters like, hello and how are you, this woman I had run into asked me if I was in a car accident, why I was using a scooter, what happened, what does my doctor say…you know, the same ol’ same ol’. After giving her to-the-point answers, she followed me as I tried to get away from her. She asked, “Are you married yet or still single?” I said, “I’m happily single, thank you.” I thought her eyes would bug out of her head. “Oh my God. Are you serious? You’re still single?” I said, “Yeah, so?” She went on to talk about how God intended us to marry and bear children. Yadda, yadda. I said, “Honey, I didn’t need to be married to the asshole I was with in order to have children! I have 2 if you recall and now I have 4 beautiful grandchildren.” I was trying to shift the conversation to the blessing of having kids and grandkids. It wasn’t working. She said, “You should have been married!” Seriously. I could not believe she said that.

That’s when I decided if I wanted to get the hell out of Walmart, then I’d better be rude and put her in her place. I never liked her anyway.

“I’m still single. What’s it to you?” She didn’t know what to say. “There is nothing wrong with being single,” I told her. “I don’t have a man telling me what to do or expecting me to do this, that or the other.” Her mouth fell open at this point. I continued, “I am very happily single. I get to do whatever the hell it is I want to do. I don’t have to consult with anyone. I don’t have to worry about some man’s baggage because all the baggage I want to carry is my own.” She started to speak, most likely something ignorant or condescending. I cut her off, “I am not one of those women who base their self-worth on whether or not they have a man in their life. Besides, I’ve not met a single soul out here in your precious Ozarks that even remotely interests me.” I could have (should have) quoted my friend, Veronica, who would have thrown a few colorful adjectives in there about ‘knuckle-dragging, inbred assholes’ but I didn’t. Instead, I added, “Was there anything else you’d like to know about my private life?” She just hmmph’d under her breath and walked away disgusted. Good, I thought, I won’t have to deal with you again.

I have chosen to remain single because I like it that way! What the hell is it to anyone how I decide to live my life? I do not need a man to define me. I know who I am and I fought long and hard after my 12-year relationship with CP to regain my self-confidence. It’s no one else’s business how I have chosen to live my life. If I had met someone and a relationship developed, then that would have been fine, but I was not nor will I ever be, actively looking for someone just for the sake of being with someone! I’m not that desperate! 

My Goals For 2020

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I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions. I have never once kept a resolution in my life. I tend to pick things that are unrealistic so I stopped when I was in my 30’s, but I can still set some small goals for myself. I made a list of things that I need or want to do for me. Some are very simple and some will take more effort, but I’m going to do my best! These are in random order, typed as they came to me.

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❣ I’ll write in my blog more, start writing that cookbook I’ve been promising to write, and finish my short story “Spike” because after all, I started it when I was 22 years old.

❣ I will exercise more. I’ve been trying to walk more and using my Air Walker at least 5 times a week. I’ve started out slowly because of my pain level and mobility issues.

❣ It’s about time the spare bedroom is used as a bedroom instead of a storage room. I’ll do a little decluttering every few days, and throw a LOT of stuff away.

❣ I will continue on my weight loss journey and with the support of the gals over at Weigh to be Healthy, I just might get to where I need to be! You can join this private group, too! We are a very supportive bunch and we want to see each other succeed, no matter what health issues we have or what our goals are!

❣ I will keep a gratitude and affirmations journal. I take things for granted, as we all do, but if I write down what I am grateful for each day, I will be more grateful. I will be more aware of what I have and what I can do instead of being focused on what I don’t have or what I can’t do. The affirmations will change my mindset, and allow more positivity into my life.

❣ I will spend less time on Facebook. It’s just exhausting anymore when it used to be fun. People can be so rude and hateful. They are too quick to judge and try to impose their beliefs or their opinions on everyone else.

❣ I will drink more water because I guess 2 quarts of tea per day isn’t the same thing. Haha. I hate water. I’d rather drink tea!

❣ I will cook more and with the help of my new Instant Pot, I think I can achieve this quite easily. I’ve already made several things in it and it’s all been edible, so that’s something! I can put a little more thought into meal planning and making my own “freezer meals.”

❣ I will eat breakfast in the mornings. It really is hard for me to do that because ever since I was a teenager, I have skipped breakfast. I’m just not that much into breakfast foods. I’m never hungry first thing in the morning either.

❣ I will read more. Lordy, I need to finish the 3 books I started a few months back and never finished. I get lazy. My eyes get tired. I can’t sit still. I used to read all the time! I don’t know why I stopped.

❣ I’d like to learn a new skill. I don’t know what yet. Maybe I’ll take another online class or learn how to play guitar. I could try a new language but…been there, done that…don’t seem to grasp it well. Maybe I’ll learn superb hacking skills and get hired by the government to fight cybercrime!

❣ I will give to charity, help a Veteran, and donate pet food to shelters. I will do what I can to help others because it makes me feel good about who I am as a person.

❣ I will save money each month so I can afford to do something big for myself. I don’t know what yet, but I’ll figure something out.

❣ I will meditate more. I don’t do it enough because it’s hard for me to focus. Sometimes I just fall asleep, which isn’t a bad thing.

❣ I will create a Keepsake Box for each of my children and grandchildren. I’ll add keepsakes from the past adding more as time passes. They will each have a box of memories to remember me by when I’m gone.

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So, there you go. All I can do is try, try, and try again to do all of these things. Have you made a list of goals for yourself going into the new year? Please feel free to share in the comments! I’d love to hear about your plans. Thanks for reading mine!

 

 

The Parking Ticket

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For the past 20 years, I’ve had to listen to Dad carry on about old people and how they get ripped off all the time because they don’t ask questions, make any calls to verify, or just hand over their hard-earned savings to someone who apparently is going to reshingle their home for pennies or some other odd job. Older folks who don’t understand the internet and computers all that well also get ripped off easily. Dad just rolls his eyes every time there’s a story on the news about a new scam that some old fart fell for. He says, “Were they born yesterday, for God’s sake? How can anyone with half a brain fall for that shit?” One older man who got duped was a college professor, for goodness sake! I don’t remember the scam now, but he fell for it and lost all of his savings. Dad really had a conniption fit over that one!

Fast forward to 2019, just a mere week before Christmas. Dad gets something in the mail from El Paso, TX. He was intrigued because he used to live there, as did his brother and we still have family and friends there. It’s from a collection agency demanding Dad pay for a parking ticket he received over 20 years ago. The paper stated he owed $91.00 and that any action would be taken to secure those funds, including if necessary, a lien on his vehicle.

The problem was in the information on this paper. The ticket was issued when Dad was not even in El Paso. In fact, it was during the time he was most definitely here in Missouri because he was busy locating a house for us to move into, securing the loan, and then moving the majority of our possessions in. The kids and I were staying with my sister at the time waiting for the house to be ready. Another problem was that the vehicle ticketed was a Toyoto. Dad has NEVER in his life driven a Toyota! He drove a Ford Ranger during that time up until he sold it, probably 8 years ago or so. He tried to find the old papers (purchase contracts, registration, licensing, etc.) because the license plate number didn’t sound familiar to either of us. We always memorized our plates just in case someone stole one of our vehicles. Since he sold the truck I’ve forgotten the plate BUT it would have rang a bell because I’m not that far gone! He couldn’t find anything to prove it wasn’t his truck.

I told him he needed to make a phone call and have someone look into it because it could have been an error. He bitched at me about how “the collection agency isn’t going to look into it because it’s not their job” and I had to clarify. “Dad, I know the collection agency won’t look into it but if you call the city of El Paso or DMV maybe they could look it up in their database and just maybe they’ll see that some idiot entered the wrong info or something.” I added, “You don’t know if you don’t call.”

After over a week of trying to find papers, he just said, “I’m just going to pay this fine. It’s easier.” I said, “Dad, you complain all the time about how old people get duped and you’re just going to pay it??” He said, “It’s only $91.00!”

I just threw my hands up and left the room. Good grief!

Let’s just throw money away, no questions asked.

Happy New Year!

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I’m looking forward to starting a new year. I don’t know why. It’s always the same. One year is just as much the struggle as the next. I try to stay optimistic. I mean, what else can I do? I’m just glad Christmas is over.

Out with the old and in with the new, right? I can hope and do my best to make 2020 better than 2019.

My wish for all of you is to have the most splendid year of your life! May all of your wishes come true! Have a wonderful celebration tonight, but be safe! Be sure to have a designated driver if you’ll be drinking away from home. If you’re staying home like me, snuggle up in a blanket, with your pets or significant other (or both) and have a couple good, strong drinks (or not) to bring in 2020!

Thank you for following my blog!

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