Drunken Critters

I’m so sick of this old house with all of its cracks and crevices where critters of all kinds can get in or at least try. There’s a space under the kitchen sink where the drain pipe comes up from under the house and a critter has been trying to chew his way into the house. That’s what it sounds like! Come to find out, that’s not what he’s been doing. 

Last week, I heard a clatter coming from under the sink so I snuck into the kitchen as quietly as I could so as not to disturb the critter. I wanted to see what was making that racket! I jerked the cabinet open as quickly as I could and heard the scamper of little feet high-tail it out of there and down that little space. I saw nothing, not even the tip of its tail!

The next day, I needed something from under the sink and my bottle of Captain Morgan was knocked over. I picked it up and went about my business. That night, I heard the racket under the sink again. I knew I couldn’t get the cabinet door opened quick enough to see what kind of critter was making the noise. I knew it was either a mouse or a rat though, because anything else would have been too big to squeeze into that space. I guess it could be a weasel because they are little slinky critters.

When I got to the kitchen, I noticed the rug in front of the sink was wet with something. It was wet alright! Wet with wine. Dad’s box of wine was leaking all over the place! The bottom of the box was all wet but there wasn’t any noticeable chewing on the box. It was nearly empty though, so we drained it into a couple of empty water bottles.

Dad put a new box of wine under the sink the next evening and do you know what happened? That box was leaking all over the place the very next day! We caught it before the entire box nearly drained out all over the place but it was only then when we realized a critter must have done the deed because how could we get 2 leaky boxes of wine in a row? 

Every time I open the cabinet, I find my bottle of Captain Morgan, vodka, or one of my other bottles of booze knocked over. (I’m really not much of a drinker, but I do have a drink now and then.) I pick them up and check for chew marks on the lid. So far, they haven’t figured out how to get to the booze in the bottles. They do like to run off with my SOS pads. 

Dad has to keep his wine box elsewhere now, to keep those little critters from drinking his wine. We had a good laugh though; thinking about the little fellas drinking the wine as it leaked out and visualizing them weaving and swaying back and forth trying to get back down the hole!

Drunken critters! Can you imagine?

4 thoughts on “Drunken Critters

  1. Well who knew that critters loved alcohol!? I’m serious, I didn’t know that so I’m thinking you have a racoon that’s trying to steal your gin and juice? lol
    I’m sure your frustrated as hell still having to wait for the house to be finished, but at least you aren’t where you were in December. Your contractor seems to be going pretty fast and hopefully you’ll be in there before the summer starts.

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    • The space under the sink isn’t big enough for a raccoon but I’m sure if they could get in, they would. We had a bigger space down there at one time and an opossum decided to come up and say hello. Lol. When Dad opened the cabinet, there it was. Scared the shit out of the opossum and Dad, too! But no, whatever critter it was getting drunk on Dad’s wine is much smaller.

      Yeah, patience is not my superpower. The sooner the new house is move-in ready, the better. I’m so sick of this shit hole house.

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