The Ex-Files – The Paint Job

CP was known to take on odd jobs, from replacing a carburetor to painting houses to doing a complete overhaul of a car’s engine. One time, being the “Jack of all trades” that he thought he was, he took on the job of painting a car.

He told a guy that he could paint his car for half of what the professionals quoted him. He said that would include banging out the dents, the whole 9 yards. Please understand that CP did not have his shop at this time. Where was he going to paint this car?

The guy took a chance – I can’t tell you why, other than he wanted to save some money. I had never seen a car that CP painted, nor had I ever heard of a car that he painted. I had a bad feeling right from the start.

CP took 6 weeks just banging out the little dents, that seemed to get worse as he fucked with them. I saw him sanding and buffing and whatever the hell he was doing, on our front lawn. He stripped the existing paint and got it ready to be primed. That car was an eye sore from the moment CP got his hands on it because we had a big picture window in our living room, which overlooked – you guessed it – our front yard. For 6 weeks, CP went out after he got home from work and on the weekends, but mostly the weekends because he was too tired during the week.

He proceeded to prime the car, sand a few rough spots and of course, this took him a few more weeks. So, now the owner of this car (if memory serves me correctly, it was a Mustang) has been waiting for 2 months for his car to be painted.

He finally finished prepping the car for paint, and I thought to myself, I wonder where he’s going to paint it? Well, take a wild guess. If you guessed our front yard, you are absolutely correct! In our front yard, right under the tree. Now, I know nothing about painting cars but any dumb fucking idiot could probably tell you not to paint it a) outdoors, b) under a tree, or c) when the wind is blowing. I guess he thought he could outsmart the wind, the birds, leaves, bugs and any other debris falling from the tree.

To my utmost horror, CP began painting that car, a very pretty blue, I might add, and even though the wind wasn’t blowing, there was just enough air movement to cause a problem. By the time he finished spraying that car, there was over-spray almost everywhere and bits and specks of this and that all over that damn car! He thought it looked great but it was a disaster. I felt bad for the owner of the car!

The car sat overnight, thereby collecting more bits and specks of this and that from the air and from the tree. After a few days, he called the owner of that poor Mustang and told him it was finished. I was mortified.

The owner came, looked at the car, and although I was in the house I could tell by his expression that he was not happy. Who in their right mind would be happy about such a shitty paint job? CP gave him excuses about not having a place indoors to paint…blah, blah, blah. I was so embarrassed to even know CP at this point I didn’t even dare let myself be seen by the owner of the car. I wonder if he asked CP why the hell he took on the job if didn’t have a place to paint inside? I guess I’ll never know!

Needless to say, CP didn’t get paid for that job. The only thing the owner of the car paid for was the paint. I’m surprised CP wasn’t sued over the whole thing but honestly, I think the owner of the car never wanted to see CP’s face or hear his name ever again!

Image by Folgt bitte meinem Account: Elionas from Pixabay

3 thoughts on “The Ex-Files – The Paint Job

  1. Pingback: The Ex-Files – My 1962 Cougar | Being Aunt Debbie

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