Walmart & Cousin Eddie

I headed out to Walmart today but I had three strikes against me that never even occurred to me until I pulled into the parking lot. 1) It’s always busy on Friday, 2) It’s the 1st of the month/payday, and 3) there’s a storm coming in. Luckily, I thought, I just need my prescriptions and a few grocery items.

Now, let me give you a little perspective here. I live in a very rural town – actually Wikipedia describes it as an unincorporated community – of less than 200 residents. Our nearest grocery store is 16 miles away, in a town with a little more than 700 residents. Our nearest Walmart is 28 miles away, in a bit larger town of just under 3,000 residents. That town also has a grocery store, a few small eateries, auto parts store, several small locally owned businesses, a few gas stations, several banks, and many churches. It’s insignificant in comparison to towns with a much, much larger population. So, you can imagine our lovely Walmart to be rather pleasant and not too ridiculously stressful…..

…..Unless it’s a Friday, the 1st of the month, and there’s a storm coming in! I didn’t realize what I got myself into until I got there. I was lucky to find a disabled parking spot. I was equally lucky there was a scooter available inside. It was the last one, so I was very lucky! There were people everywhere. I think everyone in the county was in that store! 

I went to the pharmacy first, to pick up my meds. I was annoyed right away because after I paid, the pharmacy technician told me I had to step to the side window so the pharmacist could bag my purchase. Umm….I don’t know what the point of this is really, because the pharmacist didn’t tell me anything about the medications, nor did he look at the labels to see what they were. He looked at the receipt to see that I had paid for them, tossed them in a bag, stapled it shut and handed them to me. The pharmacy tech could have done that!!

Like I mentioned before, I had very little to pick up. On my list were vitamins, Dramamine, cat food, wine, rock salt, small ziplock bags, and a 6 pack of half-sodas. I figured it wouldn’t take long for me to gather those things and get the hell out of there!

Boy, was I wrong! Every stinkin’ aisle I wanted to go down had people blocking the entire path. I mean, literally standing in the center, not off to one side or another. There were some blocking one end or the other, having conversations with others. I almost ran over a few people, who saw me coming towards them but still stopped and blocked the path. I had to back-track a few times, thinking the path would be clear when I came back but that was a fruitless effort. I was in Walmart for an hour longer than I needed to be!

I know everyone has things they need to get done. People have jobs they can’t be late for, kids to get home to and meals to cook, someone to pick up from somewhere, errands to run, appointments to get to. I get it. I have things to do, too. Why can’t people be more aware of others around them? Why can’t they just be more courteous?

When I went to check out, all the lines were several people long. So, I just picked one. There was a man with 3 items who looked about as exasperated as I was and I told him he could go in front of me. I really didn’t mind but I swear, this guy was someone’s Cousin Eddie! You know, the cousin of Clark Griswold in The National Lampoon movies!








He talked my ear off until it was his turn to check out and he was gone. When I got out to the parking lot, he was still putting things in his trunk and talking to himself. I tried to look inconspicuous so as not to draw attention. I swear, I must have a weirdo magnet attached to my hip or something! Seems to be every time I go somewhere, the weirdos all find me. Today just happened to be someone’s Cousin Eddie!

12 thoughts on “Walmart & Cousin Eddie

  1. Our immediate community is a little bigger at 800 people but otherwise you could have been describing my life. 😀

    We were at Walmart early one Saturday afternoon with a basket full of groceries ready to check out and two cashiers, one being in the express lane. Our cashier was overwhelmed and I overheard her tell someone they were short on employees because no one wanted to work on weekends. There were 10 people in front of us. After 30 minutes and 7 people still in front of us, I called the courtesy counter and told them the situation. Three people came out of the woodwork at the courtesy counter. I kind of felt bad about doing it and but they sure could have a done a better job of staffing the store.

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  2. Lol, El Paso is bigger than where you live so every single stinking Walmart is always super packed, all the fucking time! And yes, people are still inconsiderate and block all the isles. I especially love it when there are little kids running rampant while their moms ignore them. Several times I’ve seen women (I seldom see men doing this) leaving their carts mid-isle, walk over and just look thru the shelves. Not aware they are blocking everyone else. So what do I do? I do the Hispanic thing and push their cart out of the way with mine. They almost always get mad but, I just glare at them and tell them “I’m not the one who left my cart in the middle of the isle, pay attention. There are other shoppers if you hadn’t noticed” and if I have to I’ll say it Spanish. I can be straightforward and rude in both languages, lol.

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    • I say “excuse me” or “pardon me” all the time. Most of the time they move to the side, very apologetically. There have been a few times they just turn around and look at me like “how dare you expect me to move” and that’s when I get pissed. I have pushed carts out of my way, “accidentally” bumped into someone who looked right at me but still refused to move. I don’t know a second language, unless curse words count?!? Lol! I don’t even go into any of the other Walmarts in the bigger towns anymore. Too stressful and I almost always leave pissed off! Too many people!! Ugh. The Walmart I usually go to (the one in my post) is normally very mild and the people are very courteous but when it’s a triple-whammy being Friday, PayDay, and storm coming….ugh. Even during the holidays it’s not as bad as it was yesterday!!

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  3. Deb, I’m from a small town, too. Although we have a whopping 1200 souls and Walmart is only 5 miles away. I feel practically cosmopolitan now! At any rate, when I end up getting blocked in the aisles, I’ll wait a few seconds and then if they don’t see me, I ‘ahem’ and then do the old “excuse me” thing. 90% of the time, that works. For the other 10%, I have no problem getting so close to them that they are uncomfortable. Or I’ll reach for something down in front of them. Getting into their personal space really gets their attention. I can’t remember the last time someone actually stopped me from going in the direction I wanted to go. However, being in the cart, that could be problematic. Of course, you could always proclaim loudly that you really don’t know how to control the cart very well and people had better be ready to get out of the way! As for your timing, it was like the perfect storm. However, if you really want to have some fun, go on Christmas Eve. Up here there are people who only come to town once a year. The sights you’ll see are astonishing.

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    • The scooter does cause problems for me because it’s not as easy to turn around as a push cart. Plus you have to be in the right positioning to reach what you need without getting out of the dang thing. I have pushed people’s carts out of my way, and got into their personal space before when I’m able to get off the scooter. I need a very loud horn to carry with me to get people’s attention! Lol. Sometimes saying “excuse me” or “pardon me” doesn’t get the job done. I’ve had folks just look at me as if to say “How dare you expect me to move?” and that really angers me! It was worse yesterday than I’ve seen even during the holidays…of course, I don’t go out on Christmas Eve! 😉

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  4. Deb, believe it or not, I’ve had my own traumatic Christmas Eve in Walmart experience some years back, when hubby, the boys, and I were visiting my mom up north over the holiday. Whenever we’re up that way during the Christmas holiday nowadays and I’m looking to find a store to go to for something in particular, they’re always so quick with suggesting I go to Walmart for what I’m looking for. I, in turn, remind them again about the horrible experience I had at that particular Walmart and it being during the Christmas holiday and that I refuse to set my foot in another Walmart on a Christmas Eve ever again. My family just doesn’t understand. Then again, maybe it’s just a guy thing. lol I guess they just have to experience it for themselves. 😉

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