Sleep Eludes Me

5am. I’m up. I can’t say that I’ve awakened because I never went to sleep.

It’s bad enough I have chronic pain that keeps me from doing the things I have enjoyed all of my life. To grieve that loss is depressing but to now have restful slumber taken away is almost unbearable. My only solace is that I can take a 2 or 3-hour nap this afternoon.

It’s getting old. Night after night. I go to bed when I’m sleepy. Some nights I’m sleepy at midnight, some nights it doesn’t come until 1 or 2am. I STILL toss and turn (not really, mobility issues and all) until nearly 5am before I fall asleep. Not this morning. I was so sick and tired of lying there, not sleeping… I just threw the covers back and got out of bed.

I have tried over-the-counter sleep aids, teas specifically for sleep, breathing exercises and meditation, and multiple other little things to help me get my restful night. Nothing seems to freakin’ help. My body and mind alike need to rest!

My therapist says that during our lifetime, our sleep patterns change and perhaps we won’t always need 8 hours of sleep each night. I can accept that. I would be happy with just 5 hours of restful and restorative sleep, but to not have any sleep at all? It’s just nuts.

My days are long and boring the way it is since I can’t do the things I’d really like to do. I’m in pain and pain is exhausting! Sleep has always been my refuge. When asleep, I didn’t have to think about the pain. There was no depression. Sleep was an escape from the reality of my life.


What do you do when you can’t sleep?


18 thoughts on “Sleep Eludes Me

  1. My dad has the same issue since years. He drinks prescription medication at times to help him but not every night as he can get used to it. You can search for it, the ingredient is Lorazepam 1mg. It is not very strong but the brain can get used to it, if taken for a long period of time . Or you can use anti alergics which are drawzy

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  2. What works for Rod or I is reading. Usually, after a short period of time of reading, Rod will start dozing. When I go to bed and I can’t get sleepy enough, I’ll open my Kindle Fire 7 and read in bed till I find myself dozing. Thank goodness I work in my home and don’t have to get up too early in the morning. Otherwise, I’d be a zombie those mornings after I was up late, reading into the wee hours.

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    • I wish I could read in bed because that might do the trick, but because of my leg issues I can’t sit up and read comfortably. Most nights it takes me a couple hours (sometimes more) to fall asleep but I usually do eventually fall asleep. That’s when I sleep until 10 or 10:30am but last night, no sleep at all by 5am so I just got out of bed. I even tried that nap this afternoon, but even that didn’t work. Ugh. Fingers crossed that tonight will be a better night!


  3. When I am having a really hard time getting to sleep I fall back on NyQuil. It always works. I’ve tried prescription sleep aids like Ambien and they didn’t do a damn thing for me. When I told my doc about the NyQuil being the only thing that works, he suggested I find out what the sleep-inducing ingredient was and try that. Lo and Behold, it works! It’s doxylamine succinate and is available over the counter. The brand name is Unisom but the generic works just fine. It’s also pretty inexpensive. A good thing since your kitties are costing a pretty penny these days. 🙂

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