Tag Archives: insomnia

What The #&$*!!

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11

You won’t read this until later, but it’s 6am as I type. I’m shocked I can even see straight. I haven’t slept a wink ALL freaking night long. Not even half a wink. It’s the pharmacy’s fault.

One could argue that it’s my fault for not ordering my gabapentin refill (prescribed to me for nerve pain), but the pharmacy refills ALL of my other meds automatically each month. So, when my gabapentin refill came due, I forgot to order it. I blew through all of my extras after ordering the refill on the 3rd. The mail didn’t run due to snow last week plus the National Day of Mourning for Jimmy Carter so my refill was delayed. I took my last capsule yesterday morning. I normally take 1 in the morning, 1 at lunch, and 2 at bedtime. 

Beginning withdrawals from this pain-in-the-ass drug start within 12-48 hours. Symptoms include anxiety, insomnia, nausea, and sweating. (That’s just the first phase of withdrawal!) So, when I went to bed at midnight, I could not fall asleep to save my own life. I was sweating so bad that I threw my blanket off. It was not hot in the house by a long shot since we turn the heat off at night. It was probably around 40 degrees. My skin was cold but I was hot as hell. When it dawned on me what the problem was, I thought Hey, I think I might have a few extras in my purse! I sure did, so I took 2. That was at 4am and it helped with the sweating but I still couldn’t sleep and I had a pounding headache so I just got up.

And here I sit. I have extras to get me through tonight and one for Tuesday morning. That’s it. The roads look pretty good so the mail should run today. Hell, if the pharmacy wasn’t 30 miles away, I could pick up my refills. Who has the money for gas to go 30 miles one-way several times a month for refills in a town that I don’t frequent? 

Wish me luck. I’m going to need it.

Tick Tock, Tick Tock

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8

It has been a great number of years since I attempted to write a poem but I was inspired by the events of last night as I was trying to go to sleep. I’ve had insomnia for weeks. I don’t know why. I’m not particularly stressed. I wait until I am good and tired, normally around 1am, before I go to bed. I have tried 2 different herbal tea blends specifically for sleeping and over the counter sleep aids as well. When I have nights like this, every noise I hear seems to be amplified and it drives me insane!

Anyway, don’t be too critical of my ‘poem’ because I am definitely not a poet!! Thanks for reading, my friends!

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Tick Tock, Tick Tock

Tick tock, tick tock goes that blasted kitchen clock.

It ticks so loud, while I try to sleep

I can’t even hear myself counting sheep.

The windchimes chime outside my window

as I nudge snoring kitty with my elbow.

I hear the sound of digging and scratching,

the possums under the house, attacking.

There’s a hoot owl hooting just outside,

and I wish he’d just commit suicide.

I hear the sound of jingle bells,

cat toys tossed all over hell.

The refrigerator hums its obnoxious hum

and I wish I would pass out from the rum.

Seems there’s no sleep for me until after 4

then I will sleep ’til 7, and no more….

Then when I wake, what do I hear?

A stupid woodpecker, the first of the year!

He’s pecking and pecking

and my jaws are clenching.

I want to break his scrawny neck

but then I think, “ah what the heck.”

I may as well get out of bed and plan for the day.

Have some coffee and think, enjoy the sun’s rays.

I gather laundry to wash, dishes to clean,

brush my teeth, and put on my jeans.

Today’s a new day,

filled with love and laughter.

I will live for today, forever and after….

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