Dear Mr. Butt Crack Guy,

We came to our favorite Mexican restaurant to sit down and enjoy a good, hot bowl of tortilla soup. We did NOT come here to view your butt crack, but there you were, across from us at the bar with your rear end greeting us.

It would be nice if you’d just pull up your pants, or here’s a thought: Buy pants that fit better. Maybe that way you won’t disgust people while they are eating their lunch. You might think you’re all that but trust me, you look like a knuckle-dragging blob of a middle-aged slob and I’m thankful I wasn’t close enough to smell you because I’m sure that unpleasantry was just like that of your butt crack.

Sincerely,

Disgusted Patrons of El Chico Cafe