Holidays… 

Holidays are depressing. The grandkids are too busy elsewhere to spend the holidays here, although I do see my son and his family for a few hours on Thanksgiving and Christmas. I am grateful for that but I always envisioned my golden years with a houseful of grandkids for the holidays. 

I used to enjoy the holidays when my kids were little. I enjoyed making their holidays fun and exciting. They received gifts of course, but it was the whole season that was important. I didn’t have a lot of money (I never do) but I slowly built a good collection of decor: ornaments, lights, holiday figurines, etc. One thing I did every year was wrap each and every photo hanging on the living room walls in colorful holiday gift wrap, complete with bows and ribbons! It sure made the walls pop in color! I put a tree up and the kids helped decorate it. 

Beginning 5 days before Christmas, my kids would get a small gift each night, like a new folder for school, a pair of decorative socks, or some other small inexpensive gift. On Christmas Eve, the gift would normally be something like a pair of new pajamas or a new outfit for the big day. On Christmas Day, we spent the day watching Christmas movies and pigging out on holiday dinner and treats!

Those days are gone. It’s just me and Dad. He doesn’t care and I don’t care. We just sit here alone and wonder what everyone else is doing. It’s lonely. 

Dad and I don’t even bother getting each other gifts. We get a few gifts for the grandkids (great-grandkids for him) and I don’t even bother sending out cards or putting up a tree. if someone is coming over then we’ll have a holiday dinner of some kind. Last year, I did a charcuterie board and that was just as much work as an actual dinner. 

We always say we’re going to go out to dinner but not too many restaurants are open during the holidays. I’m not sure what we’ll do this year. My oven is broken so I won’t be able to cook anything unless I use my Instant Pot, Crock Pot, or stovetop. Not that I want to cook anything at all. With mobility issues, it just takes too much out of me to cook anything.

Anyway, the holidays are depressing and I’d rather just not have them at all.