Daily writing prompt

What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like?

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I despise waking up in the morning. I always feel like I’ve been asleep for days and/or I am confused about what day it is! It doesn’t matter if I’ve had a good night’s sleep or only slept for a couple of hours. Ugh. I wish I was as cheerful and oblivious as Mr. Bean.

The first hour I’m up consists of waking up! First, after a visit to the ladies’ room, I have my first cup of coffee. Ah, that first cup! The funny thing is that I never became a coffee drinker until I was 40 years old! Weird, huh? As I’m having my morning coffee, I check on friends and family by scrolling through Facebook and checking my Facebook memories. I check my email. I private message my daughter or my best friend, sometimes both. 

Every morning, I have to play interference with Jack and BobCat. Jack is a moody, jealous little shit so he picks on BobCat. Poor BobCat doesn’t know whether to shit or go blind, as my ol’ Granny would say. HoneyBear seems to think it’s time to eat when I wake up (whether from a nap or night’s sleep, it doesn’t matter) and she sits and screams at me for 20 minutes until she gives up. Alice comes around wanting attention, poor little senior Alice. She’s 10 years old now. I hope she makes it another 5 years at least. 

When I’m fully awake and my bones are warmed up, I shower and throw a load in the washing machine. Then I decide on what to fix for lunch and take whatever I need from the freezer to thaw. Then it’s off to do a chore that my housekeeper should be doing but she’s lazy and disabled…oh, wait, that’s me. 

That’s the first hour of a day in the life of a disabled pain in the ass. Exciting, ‘eh? 

Mr. Bean makes me laugh and I always hear him in my mind saying, “Wakey, wakey!” so I had to include him in this post.