Two weeks ago, the young woman who took the photos at my son’s wedding passed suddenly. I met her just once, at the wedding. She left behind 2 small children and a grieving husband. This weighed on me terribly even though I really didn’t know her. I just couldn’t stop thinking about her family. It got me thinking….too much. I didn’t sleep well for two nights.
It got me thinking about my own family, my own situation. Aside from my pain and mobility issues, I’m pretty healthy. The thing is, I could pass suddenly, too. I started thinking about what I would be leaving behind if I were to pass suddenly. A cluttered house, that’s what. Since becoming disabled, I’ve not been able to clean as I did when I was younger and able-bodied. I clean, but I haven’t thoroughly cleaned and decluttered in years. 10 years ago, it was impossible to clean as I had my grown children moving in and out of the house with their significant other and/or their children. I had to shuffle belongings from one room to another, shove shit in boxes, hide stuff in corners and closets – all to make room for the extra bodies. When they all flew the coop, I never was able to unbox and put things back because I was having pain and mobility issues. As time went on, the clutter grew because I had nowhere to put things that I actually needed.
The last couple of weeks I’ve been cleaning out drawers, closets and boxes. I’ve been throwing shit away that I haven’t used in years. I’ve been decluttering, slowly. Slowly, this house is becoming a home again….albeit still falling down.
I have to do a little each day, as my pain allows. Today, for instance, I cleaned out 3 kitchen drawers and that’s about all I could do. Yesterday, I cleaned out a plastics cabinet and threw out tons of containers I’ve not used in years. Last week, I cleaned off a huge cube shelf in the living room. You get the picture. Steady as she goes, they say.
I decided some time ago that I would be selling my soap and incense making supplies because I just can’t make those things any longer. I was hoping to be able to again someday, but I’m not sure that day will ever come. Getting those supplies together and boxed up for my buyers has been a major task but I’m getting that done, slowly but surely.
So, it’s been a busy couple of weeks. I hope to be able to relax a little in the near future when I get everything cleaned and uncluttered. It may help unclutter my mind as well…at least a little bit. I won’t have to worry about my family having to deal with the mess I’ve left behind. I can just hear them saying, “What the hell did she save this for?” Face it. We’ve all got things saved in drawers or closets and we’ll ask ourselves the same question especially if we forget why we saved it! Ha! We always have a good reason at the time, am I right?!
Anyway, I’ve been lagging behind in reading all of the wonderful blogs I follow and also on writing in my own blog. Never fear. I will get caught up again! It’s not that I haven’t tried to write. I have, but when I do my mind goes blank. As things become cleaner, decluttered and organized, it will become easier I’m sure.
Until then, please be patient with me!