Stark.

Raving.

Mad.

Stark Raving Mad: informal, meaning completely insane.

Yes, I am going stark raving mad. I know. I signed up for this. Dad will be 88 years old in February of 2025. I get it. I expected things would be a bit nuts as he got older but holy bat shit, Robin! 

Some days are better than others. Some days there are no issues at all. Today? Ugh. Today is one of those days where you just want to pull your damn hair out and scream. 

It started first thing this morning. I just woke up and I saw on my weather app that we are supposed to have thunderstorms on Tuesday. I told Dad that I hope I don’t lose our internet/wifi (we have a satellite phone) because I am expecting an important phone call from the SSA regarding my SSI benefit. I’d just hate to have to call them back – you know how it is. They leave you on hold for 40 minutes before they actually get to you and then they end up transferring your call to another department, and so on. Anyway, Dad said he hoped for no storms as well because he might miss his call from the Husqvarna folks regarding his mower. They are supposed to call before they come out to pick it up for repairs. I reminded Dad of what he told me last week. He said that he told them if they can’t get ahold of us then to just come pick it up. He said he never told me that. He told me what they said about calling before coming. I told him that yes, he told me that but he also told me that he told them if they couldn’t get ahold of us then to just come pick it up. He argued with me until I just dropped it. I try not to get that “I’m right and you’re wrong” attitude because there have been times that I have been wrong, but he always does this to me about so many things! I can tell him he already saw a certain movie and he’ll argue that he didn’t and swear up and down that he did not. He actually gets pissed off! So, I just let him watch the damn movie over again. No big deal but then about 30 minutes into the damn movie he tells me that I was right. He did see that movie afterall. Ugh.

Anyway, after lunch we had the same discussion we had last week. Dad had an appointment with his Cardiologist who happens to be Japanese with an accent that is hard to understand unless you concentrate very hard. When Dad came out from his appointment, he told me that the doctor wants him to take acidophilus to help lower his blood pressure. I’m look at him dumbfounded and I tell him that can’t be right because acidophilus is a probiotic and it’s for your gut. Good grief. He argued with me. It was listed on his printout. The next thing on the printout was Amlodapine (sp?) which he already takes so then we assumed that the doctor was just going to give him another script to take another dose at a different time during the day. But there was no explanation on the printout and Dad said the doctor didn’t say anything about that. I’m sure this doctor is a good one but there’s always so much confusion – and I’m not sure if it’s the doctor’s accent, or my Dad, or both.

A day after his appointment, Dad gets an email from Humana telling him that his new script for Isosorbide Mononitrate ER was being processed. Why the fuck didn’t the Cardiologist’s office put that on the printout like they did the acidophilus? You’d think anything new would be put on the list with any new instructions but I guess that’s just too much to ask. We had both forgotten about the Isosorbide Mononitrate ER today, but eventually I remembered and then he argued that he never got anything from Humana about any new medication! Holy balls. Anyway, we got it all straightened out but what’s next? 

My brain is exhausted all the time. I not only have to deal with my pain and mobility issues, which are constantly in my brain, right there (pointing to my forehead) not letting me forget, as if I could, but I have to keep up with Dad and his meds and his this, that, and the other thing. And he wonders why I stay up until 1am every night. I need those hours (3 to be exact) after he goes to bed, so that I can relax, recharge, and dump all of the shit from my brain into the atmosphere. Lol. Otherwise, I won’t sleep. During those hours I don’t have to worry about him because he’s in bed. I don’t have to be on high alert. He has a pee can in his room so he doesn’t get out of bed. I don’t have to worry about him falling down or bumping his head or spilling something…or some…thing… 

Wish me luck!