This afternoon I started feeling crappy. My throat was scratchy and I kept clearing my throat. That turned into a little cough and I hope I can fight it off because I have an appointment tomorrow to get my hair cut. I’m in desperate need of one, that’s for sure!

Anyway, about the time I started feeling crappy the phone rang. It was some woman from my doctor’s office. Let’s say her name is Mary because I can’t remember what her name was. Mary introduced herself and told me where she was calling from. She said she had been going through the records of patients and was trying to reach out to all those who had been diagnosed with depression. She explained that she knew how depression felt and what it can do to your life because she had been diagnosed with depression some time ago.

She started talking about all the effects and how we can try and combat depression by doing this, that, and the other. I kind of zoned out because she was literally starting to piss me off. She never let me get a word in edge-wise! All I started to hear was the sound of Charlie Brown’s mom: wah, wah, wah, wah, wah!

About the time she said that one way to help depression in the winter was to sit by a window with the sun coming through. I interrupted her, “Is there something you want?” She kept talking about how hard it is to deal with depression. I said, “I have a therapist, thank you very much. What do you want?” Again, more about depression. I added, “I am managing my depression just fine, thank you.” Wah, wah, wah, wah…

She just wouldn’t shut up! I said, “Unless you’re giving away free trips to Scotland, I’m not interested,” and I hung up. I don’t know why this doctor’s office thought it would be ok for someone to start calling people like that but I’m going to give them a piece of my mind tomorrow. Wanting to help people is one thing but a) there is a therapist listed in my records (who is no longer in practice but they don’t know that) and b) this call was unsolicited and I had never been seen at this particular doctor’s office for depression so there was no reason for the call, in my opinion. Oh, and c) PRIVACY ISSUES! I don’t know if she was a nurse, or if she even really worked there.

I expected Mary to call back but she didn’t. Have you ever had someone call you back after you hung up on them? I have, once. Funny story, actually. This was back when I was running a Day Care for kids in my home and I was busier than a cat covering up shit. I get this call from a man doing a survey about political bullcrap. I answered a few questions and I said, “Look, I’m very busy and I don’t have time for this.” He said he would just need a few more minutes of my time. I said, “My time is MY TIME and I don’t have time for a damn survey.” I hung up. After less than a minute, the phone rang again. I answered and the man said, “Ma’am, I’d like to finish this survey.” I said, “Oh, you would, would you? Well, you can go fuck yourself and DO NOT call here again!” I hung up again. Can you believe the nerve? And don’t worry, none of the kids in my care were in earshot of what I said!