I’m starting this month out just great…or ending this year great. Not sure which. This morning at 5:10am I was up to go to the bathroom. After I got settled back in my chair, with ear plugs and eye mask, I was nearly killed by Jack and BobCat, who insisted on fighting. I sleep in my lift chair and the two little shits were bouncing on and off me as they ran through the house. I was getting pissed because Jack is just too aggressive and I was afraid I’d be clawed to death, stuck in the middle of a cat fight. 

So, after they declined to knock it the hell off, I decided to get up and put the fear of God in them. I’m not really sure what happened as I am always very careful. I think I lost my balance trying to put my shoes on. I normally put my shoes on before I stand up. Anyway, I lost my balance and down I went. HARD. On my right thigh/hip. Damn. I cried. 

Dad heard me fall and was horrified! There I was. Sprawled out on the living room floor in tears. I knew nothing was broken but damn, my leg hurt. I thought, how the hell am I going to get off the floor? I have grab bars strategically placed throughout the house for exactly this reason. Little did I know it would still be nearly impossible, for me to get up. I had to scoot about 20 feet to get to the grab bar. Then, because my knees are in such sad shape, I couldn’t bend them to pull myself up. I had Dad bring my shoes, which I call mock crocs, so I could get better traction. Nope. That didn’t work. I had Dad get the gait belt with handles so maybe he could help a little. Nope. Not yet. We have a 3″ step that sits between the kitchen and the laundry room because there’s a 5″ step that’s difficult for me. The 3″ step helps a little. I had Dad bring that over to me and I slid that sucker up under my fat ass. The thought was that maybe if I were up a little higher, that would help. It did help, but poor Dad probably strained himself trying to help from behind, grabbing the handles of the gait belt and pulling me up. Holy crayoli. I was up. It only took 45 minutes. 

Now, I sit here in pain. My right leg is killing me. Nothing broken but holy crap, the spot on my hip where I landed is tender to the touch. By tonight it will be purple, I’m sure. Oh, and my arms will hurt, too. 

Great way to start December or to end the year? Which do you think?