This morning, I couldn’t help but be a bit aggravated with Dad. This is becoming more and more frequent; not this specific event but the aggravation. I know he’s 87 years old and isn’t the man he used to be. But…
Last summer, when our propane company came out to refill the tank, they noticed it was unlevel so they scheduled that to be done asap. Well, it must have rained for 2 weeks straight and they had to wait for the ground to dry out before doing the job.
The ground finally dried out and they came to level the tank. It was a quick fix and Dad signed the work order to show the work was done. Dad was told there would be no charge for this job.
Last month, Dad got a phone call from the propane company and was told he had an outstanding bill. Dad asked what the amount was and was told that it was $55.00. Dad asked what the bill was for because no idea what it could be. You see, Dad always pays his bills ontime and there’s no way propane only cost us $55.00! The woman told him it was for (the date) when they came out to fix a gas leak. Dad said he had no gas leak and explained that a guy came out and leveled the tank. I couldn’t hear what the woman was saying but Dad told her to send a bill because he never got one.
Dad and I discussed this afterward and he decided that he was going to have to call and challenge this bill. I mean, why not? He was told there was no charge and it was for leveling the tank not a gas leak. I told him they may find that they made an error and that there was no charge after all. He agreed. When the bill came, we had the same discussion with the same conclusion.
This morning, I remembered about the bill and asked him if he ever called the propane company. He said no and that he just went ahead and paid the bill. I got mad and asked him why he would do that when it may have been a mistake? They just screwed him out of $55.00! He then got mad at me and said he’d rather pay it than have them decline to refill the tank when he orders propane next time. OMG. I told him that they may have found that THEY were in error and deleted the charge from his account. He just walked away. WTH?
Is he so afraid of confrontation that he won’t call and fix errors? He’s getting awful about this type of thing. Not that we get billed for things/services never received, but when a telemarketer calls he sits there on the phone for longer than necessary, telling them over and over that he is not interested. He won’t raise his voice. He won’t tell them to stop calling. He won’t hang up on them! Good grief!
No one likes confrontation but Dad always did what had to be done before. Now he just goes with the flow. Like that parking ticket he got from a state he hadn’t been in for years – he paid it with absolutely no question. I’m afraid this is going to get worse and worse.
I know many people have dealt with elderly parents with problems like dementia or just a decline in their mental health. Is confrontation something that older folks shy away from? Is this normal?
Being Aunt Debbie 
Oh dear lort!!! Your dad doesn’t like confrontations and my mom seems to live for them!! I know that my mom’s mental faculties are not all there. Seriously I’ve had to fight with her over the phone because she’s signed off on solar panels and bought brand new appliances without bargaining or even NEEDING THE DAMNED SOLAR PANELS TO BEGIN WITH!!! I’ve asked where she’s getting the money for all of this because all I hear is “I don’t have any money I’m broke” and yet she spends like there’s no tomorrow or will live forever. I mean it’s a fight to get her to understand that when she’s gone, I’m the one that is going to have to clean up the mess she leaves behind. At least your dad’s non-confrontations are over minor amounts. Girl if you knew what my mom spend on a new appliance suite she didn’t even need, you’d pass out!
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Holy crap! That’s insane! I have no words. I’m sorry she puts you through that. Wow. She knows she doesn’t have money to pay for this expensive shit but she does it anyway… So help me if Dad starts doing this shit he will lose phone privileges! 😩
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Ha! Well I had to negotiate her out of a lot of stuff, like the solar panels because she doesn’t own her house! The one I couldn’t get her out of was the conversion from her MasterCool to refrigerated air. She’s stuck paying $295 a month for that crap! Again she doesn’t own her house outright, so be glad that dad only wanted to pay $55 dollars. Oh and I made her take back a car she bought when my dad was still alive. I mean for Pete’s sake, she bought a brand new Impala and I was like, why do you need a new car your car is only four years old?! Her answer? Because I wanted a “new” car.
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Oh, my. I guess a poor excuse is better than no excuse at all. That’s what my grandmother used to say anyway. I am thankful that Dad is still “with it” enough to do the things he does. I’m glad it was just $55 but damn, how bad is this shit going to get? Ugh.
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Deb,
As you probably know, my dad…I’m trying to stay positive during Lent, though.Okay, let me get drunk first before I respond. 😉 In the meantime, I’m sorry you’re going through this. God I hope I’m not like either of our dads or The Huntress’s mom when I’m in my 80’s — if I make it to my 80’s. My husband is now in his. There is a big difference in his abilities from age 79 to age 81. I need a paying job so badly! Mona
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It’s really hard to watch a decline, as slow as it is. Positivity seems to blow out the windows these days. I hope we all make it to our 80s, as sucky as it could be! Take care, my friend. ❤
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If it were me, I would breathe deeply and then ask myself what keeps me from calling the propane company? You could tell them your elderly father didn’t want to confront them, but you thought you could have a reasonable conversation with them. They could deduct the $55 from your next bill.
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Perhaps, but any time I have ever needed to call them they won’t talk to me because I am not on the account.
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My Dad started talking to all the telemarketers and let one in the house for a Kirby vacuum and to our chagrin bought one when he had a fine vacuum already. He was buying things he had no need for and finally my sister had to take over his finances before he spent himself out of a home. I think for him some of it was loneliness in talking to the telemarketers and they were able to twist him around to a yes. We found about a dozen watches, earrings and pocketknives he had stashed away from “deals” he made. What my sister did was give him a credit card “gift card” that held only a certain amount of cash each month. Then he still has some control over what he did or didn’t spend but was still limited. Good luck!
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Those telemarketers are difficult to get off the phone unless you hang up on them! Shame on them for taking advantage and coaxing people into buying things they don’t need! I think that gift card idea is a good one! I sure hope it doesn’t come to that here with Dad. 😦
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