It has been a long and grueling week and I’m done with it. Turns out that the family I thought I had for moral support, just took a huge dump on me. I’m a strong person otherwise I wouldn’t be here right now, but even strong people need someone to talk to on occasion. I have been accused of several things but the one thing that hurt me the most was being accused of bullying Dad. I will never forgive them for that. It was uncalled for and came from a place of not knowing what the fuck they were talking about.
Seems that certain family members have forgotten about all of the help and moral support they received from me over the years. When I need nothing from them except a little understanding and support in return, I get shit on and told that all I do is whine and complain. Let me see them go through what I go through without complaining or even occasionally whining. I always thought that with family, I’d have a safe place to vent; to express my concerns, my anger, my fears, and to complain without being shit on, regardless. Boy, was I wrong.
Apparently, I am refusing help because I won’t move to another state and start all over. Like I’m supposed to do what they say?? Dad doesn’t want to move. I sure as hell am not going to leave him behind! Shitting on me is sure not going to convince me to move – as if they’d be there for me even then. Ha!
More shit hit the fan than I care to share, because God Forbid, I might be whining! Insert eye roll here.
Being Aunt Debbie 
Deb,
Sorry to hear about your tough week. Hey, this is your blog and you say what you need to say, lady! There are a bunch of people out there who really want to stay blissfully ignorant about things that are “disturbing” to them. They don’t know what to do or say and so they say the wrong-assed thing that only makes life that much worse. I know. Hopefully, your family will come to their senses and apologize. It doesn’t fix anything you’re going through, but you shouldn’t have to go through that kind of (excuse my language) bullshit judgment and crap just because of your circumstances. Frankly, given all that you go through, if I’m in your situation, I’d be screaming and using every expletive I know! In my opinion, what you do on a daily basis, especially for your dad, given the fact that things are only getting harder, you’re a saint! I’m still waiting for family members of my own to come to their senses. Probably won’t happen in my case — I’m certainly not holding my breath, but, hopefully, it will happen for you. Sending good vibes and a heartfelt hug to you, my friend. I’m so sorry that’s all I have to give. I hope next week is better. Mona
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I asked Dad if he felt bullied by me. He said no but even if did feel bullied, he still wouldn’t want to move to TN! If anyone is being bullied, it’s me by family who thinks should do what they say!
Trust me, I use every word in the book! Dad says I have the vocabulary of a drunken pirate.
Thanks for the good vibes and the hugs! It means a lot. ❤
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Aww Deb, so sorry you are being treated like that. Family is supposed to be a safe place and when it isn’t it just isn’t right. I hope they realize what they’ve done and make a change for the better. Though I know it may not be likely.
You are a strong independent woman and taking care of your Dad has to be stressful. If neither he nor you want to move then they have no business trying to force you. Rant away in here, it’s your blog to do with as you wish. There will always be someone here to support you I’m sure.
Take care, Hugs
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Thanks Roze. It’s very stressful looking after an elderly parent! I do the best I can but I have a very hard time. If I were physically able it would be much easier. Thankfully Dad still does most things for himself. I’m even more thankful he hasn’t fallen in a long time now! Boy, he sure worries me sometimes, though! Thanks for reading!
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Oh my dear friend, I’m so, so sorry your family is being bitchy. But not just bitchy, downright stupidly misinformed and cruel! How can they accuse you of bullying your own dad? I mean don’t get me wrong, it might seem that way but they don’t know what we go through with our elderly parents. They revert to acting like children and sometimes our only recourse is to treat them like that until they get the point. But usually they never do. I remember being called out by a nurse for treating my mom that way. She told me not to talk to my mom so rude but then I had to tell her, look lady you don’t know this woman the way I do. It may seem like I’m treating her badly but she’s a bitch with me and no one else sees it but me. So if you don’t know what’s going on, stay out of it. My mom use to thrive on shit like that because she’s a narcist. But once I started letting people know who she really was, she stopped. Anyway, I know how infuriating family can be when they offer their opinions on YOUR life without living with the things you do. They only make assumptions and don’t understand what you go through.
Don’t let them get to you, like I did, if they don’t contribute something positive to your life, cut them loose. I did that to some of my family when I saw they did the same thing to me. I don’t need their judgmental opinions, and I haven’t looked back since. More power to you my friend! Love and hugs!
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You’re right. They don’t see what I go through every day…not only with Dad but with my own issues. They haven’t seen me pick Dad up off the floor, clean his bloody wounds, or bandage him up after a fall. They haven’t witnessed the decline in understanding some things. They don’t see any of it.
I asked Dad if he felt bullied by me. He said, “No. And even if I did, I STILL wouldn’t want to go to TN!” There would be no reason for me to bully him, for fuck’s sake. He’s not a narcissist and he’s never been an overpowering individual. He’s a very kind and soft-spoken person.
Anyway, fuck family. I never expected their help or for them to fix my life but I always thought I had a safe place to vent when I was at my lowest. Boy, was I wrong.
Love and hugs back, my friend! ❤
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I am so sorry this happened…family is supposed to support on another and unfortunately we all have some family members who never got that memo. Your blog is a place to be yourself… let it out. You are doing a great thing for your dad and as long as you know that, that is all that is important. (((HUGS)))
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I’m sure trying… Thanks for your support! It means a lot! ❤
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You are most welcome, my friend.
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