When my sister leaves, I’m on my own. That’s not a bad thing necessarily because I’ve always been on my own. I’ve always had to do things on my own. The problem is that I can’t expect Dad to go with me every time I need to go somewhere, and I don’t feel good about leaving him at home, alone.
Now that Walmart is offering “home delivery” in my area (out in the middle of nowhere), I don’t even have to do “curbside” orders anymore. That really helps because it will save money on gas, wear and tear on the car will be minimal, and we don’t have to leave the house.
There are other places I will need to go, such as the Dollar Tree, the local grocery store, clinic for appointments, vet’s office, and perhaps to the hairdresser’s for a much-needed haircut. I have no desire to go anywhere to socialize, so I guess I’m good.
I think we are basically what they refer to as shut-ins. I’m disabled, Dad is elderly, and we rarely leave the house. It’s depressing. I try not to fixate on the issue because it just makes things worse. When we do go out, we’ll have to do one thing at a time. No more doing all errands in one trip to save gas. It’s too much for Dad. On Wednesday, we went out, and it really sucked the life out of him. We went to the Dollar Tree where he insisted he’d walk, then the grocery store for just a handful of items. Again, he insisted he would walk. We then stopped at the pharmacy and the liquor store, both of which had drive-thrus. On to have lunch at one of our favorite places, Vaccaro’s Pizza and Pasta. The next day, Dad was still exhausted. It wasn’t until yesterday that he felt more himself.
So, shut-ins we are. I got to thinking about it, and we are basically shut out, as well. We don’t see relatives who are close enough to visit. We aren’t invited to birthday parties, even though we probably wouldn’t go. An invite would be nice, nonetheless. It would show that they are at least thinking of us. We have both lost touch with friends. Friends who have jobs or take care of their grandkids. Friends who have lives, unlike ours. Ever since I became disabled and Dad became elderly…I don’t even know when that happened…we have drifted away. Anyway, we are shut out of many things.
Things are going to change for us soon. I mean, we may still be shut in and shut out, but we will be moving to the new house. Move-in day is still up in the air, but I can see the end of the tunnel now. My sister will come back to stay, unless she changes her mind. I think I’ve driven her a bit crazy with my bitchiness, but that’s another post.
Until next time,
Being Aunt Debbie 
Yup, I can relate. I had total knee replacement surgery just over a month ago, and I’m still so much more limited than I thought I would be. Our big outing this week was to Costco, with me using one of their hair-trigger electric scooters. If you want to feel even more misanthropic, go to Costco in a wheelchair or scooter. People just don’t see you, and they act as if YOU are the one who needs to move out of their way. I even called out to one guy, “Would you treat your grandmother that way?!” He didn’t even show that he heard me. And yes, I came home exhausted. I’m looking forward to hearing about your moving into the new house. Marnie
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YES! You know how it is! I need knee replacement surgery – have needed it for the last decade or more. So you KNOW the pain I am in! I understand the scooter thing completely. It’s so hard to go into a store, grab a scooter, and think you’re going to get some shopping done quickly! People don’t try to move out of the way, they look right through you, as if you’re not even there! I’ve had people look at me and shake their heads. I know what they are thinking. They can’t ‘see’ anything wrong with me so they think I’m just being lazy. I hate it. I haven’t been inside Walmart since before COVID, if you can believe that. I just hate that place! I’m glad you’ve had your surgery. You may still be a bit limited but it will get better for you. I’m sure of it! ❤
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My dear friend, let me tell you something, shut ins you are not, introverts, for sure. A shut in is someone that can’t leave the house even if they wanted to. You are still able to drive, and dad can still walk, although now it’s harder for him. But you are not shut ins, as for family and friends that you don’t get invites from, they probably don’t even think that to invite you is a huge deal. Even if you aren’t able to go, some people just don’t think outside the box. So, I’m inviting you and dad to El Paso, yes I’m inviting you to stay with me for a bit. I have enough room for you both and of course we would cook, try out some of those recipes from your cookbook. And have us some Mudslides and talk, laugh and start all over again the next day. We could take dad to the park near my house, full of trees and cool grass and yell at the kids to get off the grass because dads asleep under a tree, lol. We could go to Spec’s and get all the ingredients to make margaritas and I could make you some good old fashioned Mexican food. But you and dad are not shut ins, you leave your home when you have to and want to. I’m an introvert and I prefer to be home than out there with my menopausal temper, the world is definitely safer with me staying home binge watching the Die Hard movies and having cocktails with my cats! 🤣😆😺
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First, thank you for the invite to your home! I’m in no shape to drive that far, and Dad is still recovering. Plus, I have 3 cats and no one to take care of them. It sounds like a blast, though. I could visualize everything as I read it! I would definitely love to drink and have Mexican food with you! ❤
Second, we are closer to being shut-ins than you think. Shut-ins, as I understand, are those who tend to stay home like the elderly and disabled, due to physical or mental health issues, anxiety, or other reasons. Yes, I leave home when I have to, BUT I don't want to. I would prefer to never step out of the house again! I don't want to deal with people because it gives me great anxiety! Soon, I won't be able to leave the house anyway, even if I wanted to. Just in the last 2 weeks, it has become harder for me to even get in and out of the car. My legs (knees mostly) won't cooperate, and the pain is excruciating. I don't know what my sister is going to do because she doesn't drive at all. 😮
Third, I really don't even care that people don't include me in anything. It's just one less thing to be anxious over. I'm just sorry for Dad, who really doesn't deserve to be left out. Not that I deserve it, but I don't care about what people think about me. It's just less BS I have to deal with.
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Oh my friend, just so you know the invite is open for you and dad. And I still don’t think you all are shut ins. But, I understand why you might feel like that. I don’t feel the need to leave my house either because, you know people, lol. I’d rather spend my time outside of work with animals that humans.
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Thank you ❤
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That is great that you can get home delivery now, I hope it is not too pricey. I would be happy staying at home most of the time. There is not much socializing I do anymore. Most of my “friends” dropped off when I got sick and disabled. I have had my therapist say to me though the more I get out of the house the better it is for my depression. Keep focusing on the new house and making it to that point, then life will hopefully be a little easier. Hang in there, you’re a strong woman!
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Thank you for your support. It means a lot to me. It’s hard to keep friends and socialize when you become disabled. It IS better for depression to get out of the house, but when your body disagrees and you end up with more pain, you also end up more depressed. Yes, in the new house things will be easier. It’ll be a big hot mess at first. but once we’re settled in, things will calm down and be easier.
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You are most welcome, my friend.
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