Tag Archives: cooking

One Thing, Then Another!

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It’s been a while since I posted. I finally got through January and I had just a couple of days to go before February was in the rearview mirror when all of a sudden my lower left molar decided it was going to give me a hard time. I babied it for a week and then Sunday evening the pain was so intense I thought I might cut my own head off!

I was able to get an emergency dental appointment on Tuesday morning. I’m a big baby when it comes to the dentist. I just don’t go unless I have to. I may have gone more often had I known my insurance covers some (but not a lot of) dental services. I was told a long time ago that they didn’t cover dental at all. Ugh. Anyway, I opted to have the tooth pulled because a root canal was not covered and I can’t afford that cost. I have already resigned myself to the fact that I will eventually lose all of my teeth. Seems like when my legs start giving me new troubles, I have problems with my teeth. It’s all connected they say. I believe it.

So, onwards and upwards. The tooth extraction was unlike the other two extractions I have had in the past. This little shit of a molar decided it was going to be stubborn as hell. The dentist had to cut it out and remove it in pieces! The sound of the dental saw (which wasn’t really a saw, just high-powered water) almost caused a panic attack. I breathed through it but it was awful! Two hours later, the tooth was out. I was swollen and so glad to get out of there. I was exhausted and went to sleep as soon as I got home. They gave me Vicoden, which I didn’t really need but I took it twice Tuesday and one before bed the next 2 nights. My gums are still a bit tender but the pain is minimal. I was on a soft food diet for several days and I’m done with that! I feel so deprived!

On to more exciting news! Before the dreaded tooth extraction, I was working diligently on my cookbook! I have nearly all of them typed out and organized. I’m not sure but I think I may not need recipe testers. Most of the recipes in the cookbook have been “tested” by me, friends, and family through the years. That’s enough testing, yes? Anyway, I still may call upon friends to test a couple recipes that I’m not sure about; for example, my Grandmother’s recipe for Light Bread. All of the ingredients and amounts are listed except for the flour! My oven doesn’t work so I can’t make the recipe to figure it out. I guess Granny knew exactly how much flour to use!

Also, I have decided that I won’t be adding too many photos. I don’t think it’s necessary, although photos do make things look appealing! I have some photos, which I will use but honestly, everyone knows what a stuffed bell pepper looks like, or a bowl of salsa, guacamole, biscuits, or potato soup. Right? Besides, I won’t be listing this cookbook with online retailers or libraries. The cookbook will not have an ISBN. I will be selling through word of mouth, to friends, family, and others interested. Nothing fancy and most likely not perfect, just a book of the recipes I’ve collected over the years.

So, friends. Please refresh my memory on who was interested in recipe testing. I may call upon you for your help. Please use this FORM to send me your email so that I may contact you in the next couple of months.

I thank you all for reading this silly blog and being patient with me over the last couple of years while I work on the cookbook! Have a great weekend!

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I Can’t Be The Me I Used To Be

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I can’t. I say that a lot. I say that a lot because it’s true. I can’t. 

I can’t do the things I used to do. I can’t do the things that made me, ME.

I can’t go hiking. I can barely walk to the bathroom. I used to go on backpacking trips with my Dad when I was younger. I put that on the back burner when I started my family, planning to get back to it when the kids were older. When the kids were older, I started having issues with my legs. Now I will never go hiking or backpacking again. 

I can’t cook. I used to cook 3 meals a day. I love to cook! I was pretty good at it, too. I used to cook from scratch. Never mind boxed mac n cheese, rice a roni, or stuffing. I made it from scratch. Corn dogs? No problem. Pizza? Done. I loved to cook. At one time, I dreamed of opening my own pizza joint. But now, I can’t. These days, it’s hard for me just to make sandwiches or a microwave meal. It’s the moving around that’s difficult. You just don’t know how much you move around when you do things…until you can’t.

I can’t make soaps and bath products anymore. I had a home business at one time. I was making a name for myself. I wasn’t getting rich but I loved what I was doing. I had to close my business after 12 years.

I can’t do steps/stairs. I need access to a bathroom and it must be handicap accessible. I have to plan everything I do according to bathrooms and steps/stairs. Some places that I have to go, like the vet when one of my furbabies is sick, has a bathroom but no handlebars and the toilet is so low I have a terrible time! But when you gotta go, you gotta go. 

I can’t clean the house the way I used to clean the house. One day each week, the house was cleaned. Everything you do to clean a house was done in a few hours that one day each week. Now, I have to split things up. I do a chore or 2 every day because that’s all I can do. And it’s not enough. Closets and cabinets need cleaning. Clutter needs to be organized, donated, or thrown out. I just can’t.

I can’t mow the lawn anymore. Dad and I used to take turns on the rider. One of us would mow and the other would use the weedeater. Our yard used to be so pretty! We got compliments all the time! Now I can’t mow because the vibration would jar my bones something awful and I know this because I used to have a vibrating foot massager and that alone made me hurt so bad I gave it away! I can’t use the weedeater because I can’t walk without aid. 

I used to take long drives. I’d drive to my sister’s house in Illinois or go to the big city of Springfield and hit the mall! I used to go out with friends; to the movies or out for lunch. Nowadays, I can’t go anywhere. I can barely get in and out of the car – and it’s getting harder. The seat just doesn’t go back far enough and it’s hard (and painful) getting my legs in and out. The family doesn’t understand why we (Dad and I) won’t come visit. They say, “We’ll come and get you,” but it’s the same difficulty and pain whether I’m driving or if I’m a passenger. Throw in a 4 or 5 hours drive and I think they must be out of their minds!

I know I need to focus on what I CAN do, and I do, but it’s not much. I can write in my blog and in my journal. I’m writing my cookbook. I have two other books in the works. I can do puzzles and crafts like diamond paintings and paint-by-number. I can still make jewelry, although I haven’t done it in a while. I can crochet. I can read. I can listen to audiobooks. I can still drive. I can think for myself. I can do crossword puzzles and word finds. I try to keep my mind active even though my body is not. I try to stay positive but it’s hard when you can’t do the things you want to do. 

How do you reinvent yourself when you really don’t have much to work with? Where do I go from here? My life sure as hell didn’t turn out the way I envisioned it. Now what? What do I do now that I can’t be the me I used to be?