So, here I sit tonight, trying to stay warm. It’s below zero and the house is cold; I’m in my room with the door closed and a heater going to keep the cold to a minimum but in this very old house it’s next to impossible. My pain level is up but not as bad as it was this morning. I can function with pain down to temps as low as 25-30 degrees but anything less is difficult.
I was bored so I thought why not write a post that tells people more about me and my likes. So, an A – Z post is what I came up with!
A – Animals, apples, artichokes, avocados, angels, acrobats, adoption, adventures, and accomplishments.
B – Babies, bacon, butterflies, birds, bonfires, backpacking, bubbles, blogging, and bats.
C – Cats, castles, chocolate, campfires, camping, cheese, crocheting, conversations, and computers.
D – Daughter, Dad, dragons, driving, dusk, darkness, discoveries, dessert, and deer.
E – Evenings, elephants, eagles, education, eggs, encouragement, encyclopedias, enthusiasm, equality, and entertainment.
F – Fall, friends, family, fiction, fireworks, folklore, freedom, friendliness, fruit and frosting.
G – Grandsons, Granddaughters, giggles, giraffes, Google, gadgets, generosity, and grapes.
H – Honey, ham, honesty, handwritten notes, humor, handcrafted gifts, heroism, helpfulness, hobbies, hiking, and hawks.
I – Ice cream, ice hockey, iced tea, intelligence, independence, intellect, Ireland, and information.
J – Joy, journeys, jokes, journaling, justice, and jelly.
K – Kittens, keepsakes, kindness, and knowledge.
L – Laughter, love, landmarks, literature, legends, lyrics, lather, and loyalty.
M – Music, musicians, moonlight, monkeys, morals, mythology, mountains, Mexican food, museums, movies, magic, manners, memories, and medieval history.
N – Nature, neatness, naps, nuts, novelties, novels, nutrition, nourishment, nieces, and nephews.
O – Opossums, otters, objectivity, oddities, opals, Olympics, opportunities, oranges, outdoors, and owls.
P – Pizza, pepperoni, peanut butter, pepperoncinis, pretzels, pickles, puzzles, politeness, peace, purple, psychics, promises, patience, photography, passion, privacy, and a cat’s purring.
Q – Quiet, queens, quilts, and quotes.
R – Rats, roadrunners, rabbits, radios, reading, rain, recipes, roses, rivers, refunds, rest, relaxation, rum, and respect.
S – Son, sisters, Scotland, snow, Spring, shrimp, sweaters, slippers, spicy foods, squirrels, sunshine, scenery, sincerity, sleeping, spirituality, safety, and soup.
T – Tequila, tacos, trust, treasures, tenderness, theology, thunder, treats, trivia, trout, thinking, thunder, and thoughtfulness.
U – Umbrellas, understanding, uniqueness, unity, and usefulness.
V – Vampires, velvet, vacations, vegetables, value, and vulnerability.
W – Walnuts, writing, winter, walks, weirdness, warmth, whiskers, whispers, wilderness, wisdom, wishes, wit, and words.
X – The xx’s and oo’s that stand for hugs and kisses and sending them to you for getting this far in this ridiculous post!
Y – Yarn, Yule, and yesterdays.
Z – Zebras, zippers, zeal, and zest.
Have you ever experienced someone treating you as if you were scum of the Earth? Has anyone ever talked down to you or insinuated that you weren’t a good person? I have. I have been treated this way for several years by someone and it has been suggested to me that I cut ties with that person. I can’t see myself doing that because of another person who means the world to me.
I’m not a bad person. I have made mistakes, as everyone has but never mistakes of such magnitude that would make people think I was a bad person. I have regrets, as most people do. I’m definitely not perfect. I have a bit of an attitude when it comes to certain things. I am opinionated. I despise being told what to do. I curse like a sailor. I have little to no patience with drama and bullshit. I sometimes have a short temper. When I was a kid I cut school and got caught stealing. I made prank calls with friends. I got drunk with friends when I was a teenager. I’m definitely flawed; no ands, ifs or buts about it.
But no matter how flawed, I have a big heart. I am very sensitive; empathetic and empathic. I feel other people’s pain and it drains me. I care too deeply about the people in my life. If you cry you will not cry alone because I will cry with you. I am honest and trust-worthy. I am loyal. I would never hurt a child. I have never killed anyone. I don’t do drugs. I’m not an alcoholic. I wear a seatbelt in my car and I always insist others wear one too if they are in my car. I try to show everyone respect until they disrespect me. I love animals. I’m not a bully. I try to help other people if I can. I say please and thank you. I taught my kids to say please and thank you. I’ve been a caregiver most of my life. I try not to judge anyone, but if you’re an asshole, you bet your ass I will judge you on that alone! I’m frugal and I live a simple life. I don’t need expensive things, and I appreciate everything I have.
Regardless of what anyone thinks of me, I am still me. I will walk my own truth and I won’t look back at those people who have judged me unfairly.
I know who I am, and I’m a good person.
This is the third installment of a series. If you missed the first two, you can find them here: https://beingauntdebbie.com/2017/10/10/the-ex-files/ and here: https://beingauntdebbie.com/2017/10/11/the-ex-files-second-installment/
So, there I was, living in my own apartment with CP and thinking what the heck have I done? It was sure a sign of what was yet to come because things never really got much better.
CP always talked about what a good mechanic he was; all I ever heard was “shop talk” when he and the cousins got together. Boring. He had fixed my car a time or two, and I really didn’t think much of it. He was really interested in opening his own auto shop. How the heck could he possibly open his own shop with no money? Did he think he could just start moving cars into a shop and start working on them? He must have. I don’t know how he did it but he conned the owner of a shop into renting it to him. I think it was because his cousin also rented from him so the owner thought it was safe. Haha.
So, I tried to be as supportive as I possibly could. I showed interest and excitement. I helped him paint the shop office. I don’t know why that was so important. It had a decent paint job already. When I got off work every afternoon, I went to the shop and sat in the office answering the phone. It didn’t ring much. Hahaha. It cost too much to put ads in the paper, in the phone book, etc. Word of mouth is how he got jobs. The thing is when you get a job to do you actually have to work on it. At one point he had 6 vehicles on the shop floor. Those vehicles were there until the owners got tired of waiting for him to get the work done. One VW Bug sat there for a year before the owner came and got it. I felt so bad for these people!!
Eventually, I washed my hands of the entire operation. I got tired of calls from irate car owners day after day. They would be angrier every day because CP would never call them back! He didn’t call them back because he wasn’t doing the work. He wasn’t doing the work because he was always “shootin’ the shit” with his cousins. I mean, geesh. If you want to take a break now and then is one thing but to spend entire days just talking?! You don’t make any money if you don’t do the work!
This whole time CP had the shop, the financial burden fell on me. He wasn’t making any money and we were eating bologna sandwiches and ramen noodles, day in and day out. It’s pretty bad when all your paycheck goes to paying rent, utilities, other bills and gas for the car and you only have about $50 for food for the entire month! Boy, does that get old fast! I was ready to strangle CP because he wasn’t pulling his weight! I was so very happy when he finally got kicked out of that shop!!
Fast forward, years later…1992. When my kids and I left him — he made sure to tell people (I had eyes and ears back home) that the reason his shop failed was that “Deb stole all my money!” What freakin’ money?? He’s damn lucky I was in MO because I would have cold-cocked him upside the head if I were still there!
To be continued…..
I am reluctant to write this post for fear off coming off as arrogant. It just feels odd to write a personal “about me” post. But, my therapist has told me time and time again to step out of my comfort zone! So here I am and here’s my list of 15 things you may or may not know about me.
- I despise people who claim to be Christian but are actually very hypocritical and self-righteous. They present themselves as good and honest but yet they say and do exactly the opposite of what Jesus would do. If you’re going to “talk the talk” then you’d better “walk the walk” is what I say, and very few actually practice what they preach.
- I am opinionated, but if I research something or someone helps me to see something I hadn’t seen before, I can and do sometimes change my mind. I tend to form opinions using common sense and logic, rather than political party, religious affiliation or anything else.
- I try to be honest and treat people with kindness even when they may not deserve it. I was raised to be respectful of other people, but sometimes when I’m disrespected I let ’em have it!
- I swear like a sailor. It relieves frustration. I do have class, though. I don’t just go around blurting out my favorite “F” word in public, on the internet, or if I have guests, although I have slipped a time or two especially when provoked.
- I have chronic pain and mobility issues. Many people don’t understand what people with chronic illnesses go through on a daily basis. Everything is a struggle; everything is exhausting. Research “The Spoon Theory” and you will find a very understandable explanation of what it’s like to live with chronic pain.
- I have two grown children, male and female, ages 27 and 30 respectively. I have 3 grandchildren, two boys, and one girl.
- I use to love to cook and I still would if it weren’t for my pain and mobility issues. I love Mexican food, Italian food and pretty much anything that is spicy!
- I live in the Bible Belt of SW Missouri and I don’t fit in. I have more Pagan views than anything else. Most people here are Christians.
- I try not to judge people. Everyone has a different journey; everyone has to make different choices in their lives. While I try really hard to NOT be judgmental, I can be at times and not over the things you might think. I don’t care about sexual orientation, religion, or color of skin. (A person’s character is more important to me.) What I will judge someone on is, if they leave a small child in a car (hot or otherwise) for 2 hours. Things like that tell me that a person is a worthless POS and doesn’t deserve children. HOW on EARTH can anyone forget their child is in the car?? I will damn right judge you if you don’t put your children first, all the time!
- I listen to hard rock, metal, classic rock, and Celtic music. I almost always have music playing. Music can change my mood from shitty to happy in an instant. Music brings back many memories; some memories I’d like to forget, but past experiences (good and bad) make me who I am. I may not like ME sometimes, but what else can I do but carry on?
- My favorite sounds in the world are babies (or small children) laughing, and cats purring!
- I am contemplating writing a cookbook, but I have so many recipes it’s rather overwhelming!
- I love Medieval History and castles, especially the castles of Scotland!
- I love to write although I don’t think I’m particularly good at it.
- I have 6 cats and would have more if it weren’t for my disability. It’s difficult the way it is taking care of the 6 I have.
So, I don’t know how any of this sounds to an outsider. I may sound like a complete a**hole. I don’t know. If you want to know more about me, then feel free to ask in the comments and I will do my best to answer!